Q. What's black and white and green? A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.
That tornado damage your cow barn any? Dunno. Haven't found the durn thing yet.
What kind of noise annoys an oyster? A noisy noise annoys an oyster. (Try saying that fast!)
What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter? Deviled eggs.
Chuck Norris looked Medusa straight in the eyes, and laughed.
What is a moo hoo for a cow fight? A cattle battle.
Yo Momma is so fat… That she makes Godzilla look like an action figure.
"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?" "No." "Did he hurt the cows?" "No, he just grazed them."
What did the dog say to the hot dog bun? "Are you pure bred?"
A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out. A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"
A man limps into a bar with a cane and alligator. The bartender stops him and says "Hold on a second here - you can't bring that animal in here, they aren't allowed!" So the man says, "But my gator here does a really cool trick..." The bartender says "Well then, lets see!" So the man whips out his dick and shoves it in the gators mouth. He then takes his cane and starts bashing the gator in the head with it. A crowd gathers around and everyone is astonished when he pulls out his dick without a single scratch. He looks around at the crowd and says, "Does anyone else want to try?" An old lady raises her hand and says..."Sure, but don't hit me with that stick."