Q. What's black and white and green?
A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.
Similar jokes
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Q. How does a frog confuse you?
A. When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
A: Of course, a house doesn't jump at all.
A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop.
The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour.
The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works.
He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face.
He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car.
The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal."
"Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."
Why did the frog walk across the road?
He didn't... he jumped.
Did you hear about the race horse that was so late coming in?
They had to pay the jockey overtime!
Why don't cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry.
When do rabbits have buck teeth?
When their parents won't get them braces.
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear?
A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
Vote:
Psychiatrist: "What’s your problem?"
Patient: "I think I’m a chicken."
Psychiatrist: "How long has this been going on?"
Patient: "Ever since I was an egg!"
Dog rules
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If its broken, it's yours.