Q. What's black and white and green?
A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.
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Two Bear Hunters
Two men went bear hunting.
While one stayed in the cabin, the other went out looking for a bear.
He soon found a huge bear, shot at it but only wounded it.
The enraged bear charged toward him, he dropped his rifle and started running for the cabin as fast as he could.
He ran pretty fast but the bear was just a little faster and gained on him with every step.
Just as he reached the open cabin door, he tripped and fell flat.
Too close behind to stop, the bear tripped over him and went rolling into the cabin.
The man jumped up, closed the cabin door and yelled to his friend inside, "You skin this one while I go and get another one!"
What did the idiot call his pet zebra?
Spot!
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
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‘I spilled spot remover on my dog.
Now he’s gone.’
Steven Wright
Q: What do you call a black and white thing rolling down a hill
A: A maori and a segull fighting over a fishhead.
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Why did the rabbit run out of the fast-food restaurant?
He thought he heard someone order a quarter pounder on a toasted bunny.
More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke.
Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance.
"This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows."
"I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong
Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
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Are shellfish warm?
No they re clammy.
Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
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