Q. What's black and white and green?
A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.
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Who held the baby octopus to ransom?
Squidnappers.
What does an octopus wear on a cold day?
A coat of arms.
Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
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What’s a mouse’s favorite record?
Please cheese me!
A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe, and the giraffe gets waay too drunk.
The bartender says, "Hey! you can't leave that lyin' there!"
The guy goes, "that's not a lion its a giraffe!"
Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
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What do you call a bear with no teeth, a gummy bear!
A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.
She called the police immediately to report the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out onto the porch.
The sight of the cop and his dog made her shudder.
She put her face in her hands as she sat down on the steps and began moaning.
"What's the moaning all about, ma'am?" asked the officer.
The blonde replied, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen, so I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a blind policeman!"