Q: What do you get if you mix a rabbit and a snake?
A: A jump rope!
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Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his dick.
One man said, "I sure wish I could do that."
The other replied, "You can, but you're probably going to have to pet him first."
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
Q: What does a cow make when the sun comes out?
A: A shadow.
What to polar bears eat for lunch?
(Ice berg-ers!)
Why couldn't the skunk use her phone?
It was out of odor!
How did the blonde try to kill the bird??
She threw it off a cliff.
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
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Q: What's worse than having termites in your piano?
A: Crabs on your organ.
A big city doctor visits an Indian tribe full of men, he asks "How do you guys relieve your sexual tension?"
"Simple, just come down to the river tomorrow and we'll show you."
The next day the doctor shows up and sees a group of men near a donkey.
One man says "Since you're our guest you get to go first."
The doctor not wanting to go against custom starts to kiss, then proceeds to have sex with the donkey.
Then a man in the group asks "Are you almost done Doc?"
"We need the donkey to cross the river in order to get to the tribe of women."