What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle?
A polo bear.
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Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q: why did the cow cross the road?
A: So he could pass the milkyway.
You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right?
Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla".
Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
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What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?
Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.
Me: Hey look its Nemo!
Worker: Sir, that's a clown fish.
Me: Bitch, that's a Nemo!
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance.
The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead.
"Shit!" says the ant.
"One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
Q: What do you call a naked deer?
A: Buck naked!
In what state will you find the most cows?
Moo York.
A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich.
When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant.
A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law.
The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary.
The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear."
It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."