Joke #10497

What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle? A polo bear.
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Will I ever be able to race my horse again the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you ll probably beat her too!"
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Have you seen the offices of the RSPCA? It’s tiny; you couldn’t swing a cat in there.
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Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking." Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?" "Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone." "No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
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A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull." The driver gets annoyed as the kids continues to yammer on. "If my dad was an rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick." The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?" The kid smiles and says, "I'd be a bus driver."
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Q: What is a black cat's favorite color? A: Purrrrrr-ple!
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If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?
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What do you call an affectionate rabbit? A tender, loving hare.
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How can you tell that elephants have been doing it in your garage? All your Hefty Bags are missing.
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Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
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Why does a chicken lay eggs? Because if she dropped them, they’d break.
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