It was a hot summer night.
Slowly I spread her legs and my hand was trying to find its way to her nipple...
I was so excited! I never milked a cow before...
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One day the zookeeper noticed that the Orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species.
In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"?
"Well," said the Orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
Q: What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical?
A: Fiddler on the hoof.
What is the definition of "derange"?
De place where de cowboys ride.
A man walks into a bar with a dog.
The bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here."
"You don't understand," says the man.
"This is no regular dog, he can talk."
"Listen, pal," says the bartender.
"If that dog can talk, I'll give you a hundred bucks.
"The man puts the dog on a stool, and asks him, "What's on top of a house?"
"Roof!" "Right. And what's on the outside of a tree?" "Bark!"
"And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!"
"I guess you've heard enough," says the man.
"I'll take the hundred in twenties."
The bartender is furious. "Listen, pal," he says, "get out of here before I belt you."
As soon as they're on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, "Do you think I should have said 'DiMaggio'?"
What do you call fish poop?
BassTurds!
What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel?
A bit of a shock really.
What's black and white and rolls down the Boardwalk?
A nigger and a seagull fighting over a French Fry.
Vote:
What hair style is a calf's favorite?
The cowlick.
Yo mama cooking so bad, the flies chipped for a screen door!
A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards.
Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game.
Aftere watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers "
Wow, that's a really smart dog!".
The man whispers backs "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"