It was a hot summer night.
Slowly I spread her legs and my hand was trying to find its way to her nipple...
I was so excited! I never milked a cow before...
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What's the definition of a nervous breakdown?
A chameleon on a tartan rug.
Why did the zombie baby cross the road?
He was stapled to the chicken.
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What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon?
A creature that stinks to high heaven.
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was.
One day she argued with a lion.
The next day was the first of June.
Why?
Because that was the end of May!
A worm gets out from cherry compote and, after he stretches a little, says satisfied:
I love sauna!
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted
to him and during her questions about his life she asked him
how he managed for sex.
"What's that?" he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a
hole in the trunk of a tree."
Horrified, she said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong. I'll
show you how to do it properly."
She took off her clothes,
laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide.
"Here," she
said, "You must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her
an almighty kick, right in the crotch.
Jane rolled around in agony.
Eventually she managed to gasp,
"What the hell did you do that for?"
"Checking for bees!" said Tarzan.
What do rabbits put in their computers?
Hoppy disks.
What does a cow ride when his car is broken?
A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle.
What is a frogs favorite time?
Leap Year!
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
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