Although cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
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What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"?
A cow walking backwards.
Q: What's long and thin and covered with skin and nobody knows how many holes its been in.
A: A worm.
Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet?
It lives on ice.
Q: What do you call a cow playing with its self?
A: Beef stroganoff.
What job do rabbits at hotels have?
Bellhop.
The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and tells whether you are qualified to be a "manager".
The questions are not that difficult.
1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door.
This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Wrong Answer: Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator.
Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.
This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.
3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend except one. Which animal doesn't attend?
Correct Answer: The Elephant. The Elephant is in the refrigerator.
This tests your memory.
OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your abilities.
4. There is a river you must cross. But it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer: You swim across. All the Crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting!
This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
According to Andersen Consulting World wide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong.
But many pre-schoolers got several correct answers.
Andersen Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most management consultants have the brains of a four-year-old.
Which big cat should you never play cards with?
A cheetah.
What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken?
Roost beef.
Two snakes are talking.
One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?"
The other replays, "Yes,why?..."
"I just bit ma lip."
What did the flower say to be the bee?
"Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
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