What do you get from a cowmedian?
Cream of Wit.
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What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets?
Shoot the lawyer twice.
Q: What is the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
A: One says "See you later" and the other says "In a while".
Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent.
They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.
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Everybody knows that Chuck Norris can't shoot a bow even though he got 5 bullseyes in a row.
The only reason he got the bullseye is that his arrows know better than to miss.
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Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forest, but they don't like each other.
One day, they come across a golden frog who offers them three wishes each.
Mr. Bear wishes that all the other bears in the forest were female. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a crash helmet.
Mr. Bear's second wish is that all the bears in the neighboring forests were female as well. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a motorcycle.
Mr. Bear's final wish is that all the other bears in the world were female, leaving him the only male bear in the world.
Mr. Rabbit revs the engine of his motorcycle and says, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rides off.
What's a rabbits favorite song?
"Hoppy Birthday to You."
Q: What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A: Megasoreass.
What game do little cows like to play?
Moonopoly.
What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns?
A bull pull.
A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails.
A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.
The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."