What do you get from a cowmedian? Cream of Wit.
How much do I owe Yo' Mama? My dog came home happy last night.
A family is driving in their car on a holiday. A frog crosses the road and the husband, who is driving, is able to stop the car. He gets out an takes the frog and carries him to the side of the road. Frog is grateful, thanks the man, and tells him that he will grant him a wish. Man says: please make my dog win the next dog race. Frog asks to look at the dog which jumps out of the car. The frog notices that the dog has only got three legs and tells the man that he thinks it is almost impossible to fulfill his wish and asks that the man will tell him another wish. The man says: "Well, then please help that my wife will win the next beauty contest in the area." Frog asks him to tell his wife to get out of the car. Wife comes out of the car and approaches the frog. The frog turns to the man and says: "Could I please have another look at the dog?"
Johnny was playing outside when he really had to go to the bathroom. He runs in and his grandma was about to take a shower. He looks at her crotch and says, "Whats that?" She says: "Well, it's a beaver, Johnny." The next day the same thing happens, only his mom is taking the shower. He says: "Mom I know what that is. It's a beaver, but I think grandma's is dead because it's tongue is hanging out."
Why was the racehorse named Bad News? Because bad news travels fast!
Yo' Mama is so fat, her Polo shirts come with real horses on the pocket.
Yo mama so stupid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.
Q: Why does a squirrle swim on its back? A: To keep its nuts dry
What happened when the shark became famous? He tured into a starfish.
What does a cow like to do by a campfire? Roast Moosmallows.
What kind of car does a rabbit drive? A furrari.