What do you get from a cowmedian? Cream of Wit.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? "Dead."
What's an octopuses favourite latin saying? Squid pro quo.
There are two cows in a field. One says to the other: "So what do you think of mad cow disease?" The other replies: "I don't know, I'm a chicken!"
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex? A: They have cotton balls.
What do you call a mobile homes for rabbits? Wheelburrows.
What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"? A cow walking backwards.
Yo Momma is so fat… That she makes Godzilla look like an action figure.
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?"
Are shellfish warm? No they re clammy.
What famous painting do cows love to look at? The Moona Lisa.