Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
Did you hear the joke about the skunk? Never mind, it stinks.
A baby snake asked it's mom, "Mommy are we poisonous?" The mother snake responded, "Yes honey, but why do you want to know?" The baby snake responded, "Because I just bit myself..."
A dog walks into a pub, and takes a seat. He says to the barman, "Can I have a pint of lager and a packet of crisps please". The barman says, "Wow, that's amazing! You should join the circus!" The dog replies, "Why? Do they need electricians?"
A kangaroo mom with seven babies in her pouch told another kangaroo mom, "These sleepovers are killing me."
What goes black white black white...? A penguin rolling down a hill! What's black and white and laughing? The penguin who pushed him!
What kind of money do polar bears use? Ice lolly.
Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan? He got cut off without a scent.
What did the bunny say when he only had thistles to eat? Thistle have to do.
What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Spot!
When do rabbits have buck teeth? When their parents won't get them braces.