Joke #10437

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal

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There's a guy Who's hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree. The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher. Then, the bear climbed down and went away. So the guy starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he's brought an even bigger bear with him. The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first. But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn't reach him. Eventually, the bears went away. Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again. Suddenly, the two bears return. But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble. Each bear was carrying a BEAVER.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What's the difference between Chuck Norris and a bear? A: Chuck Norris has more chest hair.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A skunk family had two little skunks they called In and Out. One day little In disappeared. Mother Skunk, Father Skunk and young Out spent hours looking for him, getting more worried all the time. In the end the parents went home to have a cup of tea, but Out said he d continue searching for a while. Half an hour later he returned home, with a tired In following behind him. "However did you find him?" asked Father Skunk. "In-stinct," replied Out.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, family
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day? A forty-carrot wedding ring.
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has 68.45 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, money, wedding
What game do little cows like to play? Moonopoly.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, game
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."
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has 82.98 % from 238 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, god, kids
If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it? Jawbreakers.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt. This parrot was a very nasty parrot. It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer. The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped. George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.” He opened the door and saw the bird alive! The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again. George said, “Why the change?” The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, death, parrot
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
Yo' Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.
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has 73.59 % from 168 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, insulting, Yo mama