What's green and red?
A very mad frog.
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Q. What did one frog say to another?
A. You're such a WART!
What did the frog say to the fly?
You are really starting to bug me!
George was taking care of a parrot for his aunt.
This parrot was a very nasty parrot.
It cussed and screamed and made fun of George, so he took the parrot and put it in the freezer.
The parrot kept screaming and insulting George until finally it stopped.
George thought to himself, “On no! I froze my aunt’s bird to death.”
He opened the door and saw the bird alive!
The bird said, “I’m sorry for my behaviour and will never act up again.
George said, “Why the change?”
The bird answered, “Because I saw what you did to the other bird."
How do you f*ck a fat chick?
Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
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What do you call a dinosaur drinking Tequila?
Tyrannosaurus Mex.
Why didn't the teddy bear eat his lunch?
(Because he was stuffed!)
I was just told that my dog chased someone on a bicycle and bit him.
That's bullshit, my dog can't even ride a bicycle.
Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.
‘Cats have nine lives.
Which makes them ideal for experimentation.’