What's green and red? A very mad frog.
Q: What was the last thing her husband said to her? A: I'll feed the dog, you feed the fish.
What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner? Cow chow.
A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet.
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
When do rabbits have buck teeth? When their parents won't get them braces.
A cat died and went to Heaven. God met her at the Pearly Gates, petted her on the head and said, "You have been a good cat for these 40 years. Anything that you want is yours for the asking." The cat thought for a minute and replied, "All my life I have lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on." God said, "Say no more." Instantly the cat had a huge, fluffy pillow. A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident, and they all went to heaven together. God met them at the gates of Heaven with the same offer He made to the cat. The mice said, "Well, all our lives we've had to run from dogs, cats and even people with brooms. If we could just have some little roller skates, we'd never have to run again." God said, "It is done!" All the mice had beautiful little roller skates. About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, "Is everything okay? How you been doing? Are you happy?" The cat replied, "Oh, I've never been so happy in my life! My pillow is so fluffy, and those little meals-on-wheels you've been sending over here are delicious!"
Why is there no gambling in Africa? -Too many Cheetahs!
Q. Why don't lions eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny.
What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater? Claws.
What does a bunny use when it goes fishing? A harenet.