Joke #2283

What's green and red? A very mad frog.
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has 17.31 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal

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What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, life, music
A panda walks into a bar, sits down and order a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a PANDA! Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary and sees the following definition for Panda: "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."
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has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore. "Do you have any idea why?" "Well, I had sex with an elephant!" "You did? But elephants are known to have small penises!" "Yeah, but he fingered me first."
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has 56.20 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, elephant, sex
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, weather
Baby Rabbit: "Mommy, where did I come from?" Mother Rabbit: "I ll tell you when you re older." Baby Rabbit: "Oh, Mommy, please, tell me now." Mother Rabbit: "If you must know, you were pulled from a magician's hat."
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has 72.04 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: age, animal
Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette? He didn't have enough money tabaccer!
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
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has 71.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal
A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear. They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead. Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault. The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, money
The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
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has 29.23 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food, time
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby. Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris