Joke #10451

What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato? Anything, just butter him up.
Vote:
has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: food

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?" "Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?" "Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces." "Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is." "It's a big rooster," she said. The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."
Vote:
has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: blonde, food, husband, wife
When Chuck Norris opens a bottle of coke happiness runs away screaming.
Vote:
has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, food
An apple, a banana and a penis got into an argument one day. The apple says sadly "I have the worst life ever. People take one bite of me and throw me on the ground." The banana says "You think thats bad? People take off my clothes, eat my insides and leave my clothes on the floor." The penis laughs. "You guys have it easy. You try having people sticking you in dark, wet caves, putting bags over your head, messaging you for hours and making you do push-ups until you throw up!"
Vote:
has 77.27 % from 442 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, sex
Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
Vote:
has 68.56 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: dad, food, kids, mean, money
A family was having some people to dinner. At the table, the mother turned to her six-year-old daughter and said, "Dear, would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," replied the little girl, shyly. "Just say what you hear Mommy say, sweetie," the woman said. Her daughter took a deep breath, bowed her head, and solemnly said, "Dear Lord, why did I invite all these people to dinner!?!"
Vote:
has 81.61 % from 226 votes. More jokes about: age, family, food, kids
What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A quarter pounder with cheese
Vote:
has 34.35 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food, health
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse. “Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked. “No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
Vote:
has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, men, time
This lady is on an airplane and is seated next to a man named Ian McKegney. About half an hour after they take off, Ian sneezed. He calmly opened his fly, took out his penis and wiped it with a handkerchief. The lady was shocked but a little too shy to say anything. About 15 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and then once more opened his fly, grabbed his penis and wiped it off. The lady could not beleive it, and being to shy to mention it, she thought to herself, "If he does that again, I'm definitely going to mention it." Well, guess what? About 10 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and proceeded as before. She turned to Ian and said, "That is disgusting! Must you do that in front of me?" Ian apologized and explained that it was a medical condition, "Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm," he explained. "Really, what do you take for that?" she asked. Ian replied, "Pepper."
Vote:
has 75.05 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: airplane, dirty, food, medical, time
Q: Why dont blacks celibrate thanksgiving? A: KFC isnt open on holidays.
Vote:
has 42.29 % from 180 votes. More jokes about: black people, food, Thanksgiving
On a Roman warship, the galley boss looked over his slaves and shouted, "Today I have good news. All of you are getting extra food tonight." The slaves all looked at him in silence, except one decrepit old man in the back, who moaned, "Oh God, no, not again." A new slave next to him asked, "Why are you moaning?" "This only happens when the Captain's nephew wants to water ski."
Vote:
has 70.43 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: family, food, management, sport, war