What do you call a poodle with no legs? A sponge.
Girl: We have a mayor. Do you? Horse: Sure! Girl: What do you call it? Horse: Same as you do. Mare!
What is the fiercest flower in the garden? The tiger lily.
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."
Why wouldn't anyone play with the little longhorn? He was too much of a bully!
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Look for gray hares.
Q: What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common? A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.