What do you call a poodle with no legs?
A sponge.
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Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole?
A: Bestiality
What do you call a dinosaur drinking Tequila?
Tyrannosaurus Mex.
Question: What do you get when you cross a shark and a parrot?
Answer: a creature that talks your ear off.
A zebra has wondered his whole life whether he was a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes.
When he dies and goes to heaven he asks God the question "Am I a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes?"
God responds, "You are what you are"
The zebra goes to his friends and tells them what God had said and that he still doesn't know the answer to his question.
One of his friends says, "Well, that means you are a white zebra with black stripes"
The zebra asks him why and the friend says, "Because otherwise God would have said 'You is what you is'"
What do you call a show full of lions?
The mane event.
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
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If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped.
What's a tiger?
A stri-ped.
Did you hear about the whale who couldn't keep a secret?
He was a blubber mouth.