What do you call a poodle with no legs?
A sponge.
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How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
‘I spilled spot remover on my dog.
Now he’s gone.’
Steven Wright
A Bosnian catches a goldfish.
The goldfish says: "Let me go and I will grant you one wish."
The Bosnian says: "No way, I'll take you to the pawn shop – gold is gold."
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos?
Czechs and stripes don’t mix.
Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
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Chuck Norris walks into a bar, and as he enters, notices a horse and the end of the bar with a sign on it.
Out of curiosity, he approaches the bartender and asks what the deal is with the horse at the end of the bar.
The bartender tells him: "The sign says if you can make the horse laugh you'll win $50. Take note though that hundreds of people have tried and no-one has been able to do it."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So he walks to the end of the bar, whispers something into the horse's ear, and within seconds the horse is laughing hysterically.
"That's amazing," said the bartender.
"Tell you what, if you can make him cry I'll double your winnings."
"Get out the money," says Chuck," I'll be right back."
So Chuck walked again over to the horse, came back to the bartender 2 minutes later, and the horse was balling and sobbing like a baby.
"Well," replied Chuck Norris, "First I told him a had a bigger d*ck than he did. Then I showed him."
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Q: How do you know the Easter Bunny is really smart?
A: Because he's an egghead.
What do you call a dinosaur with magic powers?
Tyrannosaurus Hex.
Scooby Doo prefers Norris snacks'.
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