Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales? He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store, but couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy, "Do these turkeys get any bigger?" The stock boy replied, "No ma'am, they're dead."
You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right? Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla". Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
What's green with red spots? A frog with the chicken pox!
What's a skunk's philosophy of life? Eat, stink and be merry.
What's a rabbits favorite movie? Rabbits of the Lost Ark.
A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the group a lively hillside where many goats were grazing. "These," she explained, "are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer produce." She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old goats?" A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"
Q: What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet? A: A Lassie who plays brassie!
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks.
Is Snoop serious? Or is Snoop Lion?
Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra .... After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra Eventually died