Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
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A mailman meets a boy and a huge dog.
‘Does your dog bite?’ asks the mailman.
‘No,’ replies the boy.
And the dog bites the mailman’s leg.
‘You said he doesn’t bite!’ yells the mailman.
‘That’s not my dog,’ replies the boy.
There are two cows in a field.
One says to the other:
"So what do you think of mad cow disease?"
The other replies: "I don't know, I'm a chicken!"
What's green with bumps?
A frog with the measles!
Q: What is a zebra?
A: A horse behind bars.
I feel like every nature documentary is directed by a psychopath.
"Here's the cutest baby animal ever."
"Now let's watch something eat it."
How does a frog confuse you?
When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
Go to your back door and look for the dog.
If the dog is at the door and he is wet, it's probably raining.
But if the dog is standing there really soaking wet, it is probably raining really hard.
If the dog's fur looks like it's been rubbed the wrong way, it's probably windy.
If the dog has snow on his back, it's probably snowing.
Of course, to be able to tell the weather like this, you have to leave the dog outside all the time, especially if you expect bad weather.
Yours sincerely,
The CAT
What do you call an easy-going rabbit?
Hoppy-go-lucky.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on top of a cliff.
A magical bird flies to them and tells them that each one of them can jump off the cliff and wish to be one thing to fly away on.
They will become that thing and can escape from their arduous situation.
The redhead goes first.
She jumps and says "eagle!".
She turns into an eagle and flies away.
The brunette jumps off and says,"hawk!" she turns into a hawk and flies away.
The blonde takes a running start, trips on a rock as she nears the edge. "Oh crap!" she yells.
What is a nigger?
Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.
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