Chuck Norris crossed the road.
No one has ever dared question his motives.
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Chuck Norris never suffers from a heart attack.
His heart is too smart to not attack him.
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Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
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When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed.
She is now known as Britney Spears.
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Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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The Grimm Reaper fears the day Chuck Norris comes for him.
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Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
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Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.
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Chuck Norris does not cleanse himself with your everyday shower.
He uses Meteor Showers.
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