Chuck Norris can swim in an empty pool.
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Chuck Norris can toast bread in a freezer.
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If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
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Chuck Norris once gave a cop a ticket for speeding.
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Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light.
Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris only weakness, is weakness, of course!
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Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
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Chuck Norris once made a crippled man run away.
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According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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