When Chuck Norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up.
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Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.
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Wolverine has been called indestructible because of his adamantium skeleton... until Chuck Norris broke every bone in his body.
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Big Brother isn't watching you.
Chuck Norris is watching you!
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There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul.
Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
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The sun is the burning remains of the last planet Chuck Norris pillaged.
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Chuck Norris didn't grow a beard, a beard grew Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris had to stop washing his clothes in the ocean.
The tsunamis were killing people.
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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Chuck Norris has never won a single fight.
Winning would imply some sort of competition or chance that he could loose.
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