How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Q: Why do black women lose their hair at an early age? A: From all of the hair pulling during rape.
A nun with big boobs boarded a bus and sat near a dude. The dude kept looking at the nun's boobs. The nun realized this. She held her rosary and asked, "Are you looking at Jesus on the cross?" The man said "No, I'm looking at the 2 thieves beside him."
What is the same with spreading butter on a toast and getting a woman to spread her legs? It is possible with a credit card, but much easier with a knife.
"For love on the first sight, there's a tremendous medicine!" "What medicine?" "To get another look...!"
An Italian and a Greek were arguing about which country added the most to civilization. The Greek: We built the Acropolis! the Italian: We built the colloseum! The Greek: We gave the world advanced math! the Italian: We made the Roman Empire! The Greek: We discovered sex! the Italian: And we introduced it to women!
This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty. She's not wearing any clothes.
Girl: Baby im wet. Boy: Want a paper towel? Girl: No, i want more then that ;) Boy: Want 2 paper towels? Girl: No, baby i want sumthing big and round ;) Boy: Damn you want the whole roll?
An old woman goes in to a sex shop, shaking. "Sir," she says in a shaky voice, "do you sell vibrators?" "Yes, ma'am." "And are they this big around and this long?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "And they're $22.95?" she asks in a shaky voice. "Yes, ma'am." "How do you turn them off?"
boy: spell "me" girl: M-E boy: but you forgot the D girl: there's no D in me boy: not yet ;)
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team? A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.