Joke #1048

How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.
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has 79.36 % from 519 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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My kid and I were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. So I put my hand around my kid and told him "Well son, that's because daddy isn't aroused by men."
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has 63.42 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, dirty
Q: What's the speed limit of sex? A: 68. Because at 69 you have to turn around!
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has 71.86 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
I don't know whats happening in this country. You've got school children dressing like whores and whores dressing like school children. Its a nightmare... you just don't know whether to carry sweets or money!
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has 72.50 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A Male patient just recovered successfully from a sex threatening health attack. He was wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose and laying on hospital bed. An young nurse came to cleanse his body with sponge. The patient mumbled, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse replied, “I don’t know Sir, I am just setting you clean” The patient repeated again, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse was quite embarrassed to answer the question and said “Sir everything should be OK” The patient just kept on asking again and again, “Are my testicles black?” Nurse could not bear a patient concerned so much. So she raised his gown, moved her hand to find and grab his penis and testicle, moved it all around, checked very closely and suddenly man ejaculated on nurse’s hand. The man pulls off his oxygen mask, embarrassed at the fiasco says loudly enough, “Ma’am, Thanks but I still need to know 'Are my tests results back?’”
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has 85.01 % from 1849 votes. More jokes about: dirty, health, hospital, sex
My wife found a porn magazine in our son's room the other day. She showed it to me, and it was BDSM. She asked me "What we should do?" Me: "Probably not spank him." She belted me with the magazine. Now I know where he gets it from.
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has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, life, wife
Q: Why all men say "Ladies first"? A: They want to watch their asses.
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has 80.87 % from 258 votes. More jokes about: beauty, dirty, men, women
A man was getting ready to close his bar for the night when a robber with a ski mask burst in and pulls a gun. He yells to him, "This is a stick-up! Put all your dough in this bag!" The scared the man pleads, "Don't shoot, please! I'll do as you say!" The robber yells, "Shut up and empty the cash register!" HE says, "Okay, okay! Just don't shoot, I have a wife and kids! I'll do whatever you say!" The crook takes the money then puts the gun to the the man's head and says, Alright, now give me a bl*wjob!" "Anything!" cries Banta, "Just don't shoot!" The man starts to blow the crook. As the crook gets excited, he drops the gun. Man sees the gun on the floor, picks it up, hands it back to the crook and yells, "Hold the gun, damn it! Somebody might walk in!"
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has 80.78 % from 251 votes. More jokes about: dirty
The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.
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has 69.79 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: dirty, school, sex
"For love on the first sight, there's a tremendous medicine!" "What medicine?" "To get another look...!"
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has 57.69 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: dirty, love
Q: Have you tried Starbucks new hot beverage, Viagraccino? A: One cup and you're up all night.
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has 75.90 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: dirty, viagra