Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child?
A: Because dad can’t keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.
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What did the two tampons say to eachother?
Nothing , because they were both stuck up bitches.
Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!"
Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
While watching TV with his wife, a man tosses peanuts into the air and catches them in his mouth.
Just as he throws another peanut into the air, the front door opens, causing him to turn his head.
The peanut falls into his ear and gets stuck.
His daughter comes in with her date.
The man explains the situation, and the daughter's date says, "I can get the peanut out."
He tells the father to sit down, shoves two fingers into the father's nose, and tells him to blow hard.
The father blows, and the peanut flies out of his ear.
After the daughter takes her date to the kitchen for something to eat, the mother turns to the father and says, "Isn't he smart? I wonder what he plans to be."
The father says, "From the smell of his fingers, I'd say our son-in-law."
Been chatting to a 14 yr old on the internet.
She is funny, s*xy and flirty.
Now she tells me she is an undercover cop.
How cool is that at her age!
My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move.
She: "What are you doing?"
Me: "I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering.
Q: What do you get when you mix chocolate and Viagra?
A: Oooh - Henry!
Q: Why did the lumber truck stop?
A: To let the lumber jack off.
Are your legs made of Nutella?
Because I'd love to spread them!
Q: What do you call a lesbian with a big tongue?
A: Well hung.
Little Johnny: "Dad why your dick's hairs are black but the hairs of your head are are going to be white?"
Dad: "My dear the first one is thinking but the second is enjoying."
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