Why was the lion-tamer fined?
He parked on a yellow lion.
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Ronnie goes to the auction.
He notices a parrot that was on auction.
Ronnie decides to bid for it and so Ronnie starts off with 50 Dollars.
Auctioneer: 50 Dollars
Voice: 100 Dollars
Ronnie: 200 Dollars
Voice: 300 Dollars
Ronnie: 400 Dollars
Voice: 750 Dollars
Ronnie: 800 Dollars
Auctioneer 800 going once, twice and the parrot is sold.
Ronnie to the Auctioneer "I hope this Parrot can speak as I have spent a lot of money on it."
Auctioneer Laughing: "Who do you think was Bidding against you.
What do you call an owl magician? HOOOOOdini.
A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his.
At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says:
There were 24 pigs gentlemen!
Twice as much than you!
Your house is so dirty I saw rats on dirt bikes.
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth.
The next day he won the lottery.
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Bob checked into his hotel room and immediately noticed a dead cockroach on the floor.
He called the front desk, asked for the manager and raised a fuss.
"Sir, please calm down," the manager replied.
"It's dead. It can't bother you now."
"The dead one doesn't bother me." Bob said.
"It's his pallbearers."
Why are rabbits never gold?
How would you tell them apart from goldfish?
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you?
A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
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Q. Why did the tiger loose at poker?
A. Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert?
A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
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