Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert? A: Peach gobbler.
An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm. He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off. The bartender agrees. The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts his penis inside it; the croc gently closes his mouth and after 15 seconds the Australian hits him over the head with a bottle, causing the croc to open his mouth and let the guy withdraw his penis. The bartender starts serving the free drinks to the Austr alian and then tells everyone in the bar "If anyone else can do that then I will give them free drinks also". There is a pause and then a blonde woman calls out "ok, I will do it but please don't hit me so hard over my head with the bottle".
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
Q: What is the difference between a chicken and a turkey? A: Chickens celebrate Thanksgiving!
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert? A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys." Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch. "That was amazing," exclaimed the coach. "I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?" "Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
What kind of cows do you find in Alaska? Eski-moos.
Why did the Pilgrims eat turkey on Thanksgiving? They couldn't get the moose in the oven!
Why doesn't Sweden export it's cattle? It wants to keep it's Stockholm!
What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii? Moo moos.