What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?
A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.
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What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon?
A creature that stinks to high heaven.
On what should you mount a statue of your cat?
A caterpillar!
Chuck Norris bit a spider once then it became Spiderman!
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How to catch a polar bear:
Go up north and find a frozen lake or pond.
Cut a large hole in the ice.
Open a can of green peas, and place the peas around the edge of the hole single file.
Hide behind a nearby rock.
When the bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice-hole!
Q: What is a zebra?
A: A horse behind bars.
Q: If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first?
A: The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert?
A: Peach gobbler.
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What's gray and powdery?
Instant Elephant.
Why does the chicken is sad?
Because his dad is a cock.
Why does the chicken is even more sad?
Because he faces the same future.