What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl? A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.
What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Spot!
Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig? Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
No chicken dies a virgin. They get laid at birth *slaps knee*.
What are the spots on black-and-white cows? Holstaines.
In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and passengers had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car. The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk." The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down. "You can understand what I'm saying?" asked the officer. Again, the monkey shook his head up and down. "Well, did you see this?" "Yes," motioned the monkey. "What happened?" The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth. "They were drinking?" asked the officer. "Yes." "What else?" The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth. "They were smoking marijuana?" "Yes." "Now wait, you're saying your owners were drinking, and smoking marijuana before they wrecked." "Yes." "What were you doing during all this?" "Driving" motioned the monkey.
A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
What's a moo hoo for grazing school? Grass class.