What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl? A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.
A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground. The father approaches his son and asks what he's looking at. The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they're doing. They father replies that the two spiders are having sex. It's a completely natural thing that a mommy and daddy do when they love each other. The son then asks if one is a daddy long leg and the other is a mommy long leg. The father says that they're both daddy long legs. The son stomps on them, killing them. The father asks why he did that. The boy replies "I don't want any of that faggot-ass shit in my yard."
What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties? "Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."
What do you call a rabbit who works in a bakery? A yeaster bunny.
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
Q: Why are tigers religious? A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
Mama bear to Papa bear: "Well... You might call it hibernating — I call it goofing off ."
How did the close race between the rabbit and the tortoise end? It was won by a hare.
What is a moo hoo for a cow fight? A cattle battle.