What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl? A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, "How much is the yellow one?" The assistant says, "$2000." The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, "This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast." "What about the green one?" the man asks. The assistant says, "He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes." "What about the red one?" the man asks. The assistant says, "That one's $10,000." The man says, "What does HE do?" The assistant says, "I don't know, but the other two call him boss."
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus? On squid row.
What's a skunk's favourite game in school? Show and smell.
Q: Where does a kangaroo go that can't hop? A: Hopspital.
A dog is truly a man's best friend. If you don't believe it, just try this experiment. Lock your dog and your wife in the boot of the car for an hour. When you open the boot, which one is really happy to see you?
What South American dance do cows like to do? The Rump-a.
What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls? Reptiles.
Koala: What do you mean, I'm not a bear? I have all the koalafications. Elephant: Your koalafications are completely irrelephant. Lion: Don't listen to him! He's lion! Bear: This arguing is becoming unbearable!
Q: What is a zebra? A: A horse behind bars.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It was the chicken's day off.