Why was the little bear so spoiled?
Because its mother panda d to its every whim.
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Bad Zoo
1. When no one else is looking, you swear that the monkeys are mocking you.
2. The Bears exhibit is nothing more than the guys cut from the football team during training camp.
3. The stripes on the zebra tend to peel away in the heat.
4. The Zookeeper always wants to take the Rhino for a walk.
5. The Lion in the lion cage closely resembles the one from The Lion King.
6. The alligator in the Reptiles exhibit is nothing more than the University of Florida's Mascot.
7. If you deposit 50 cents, the giraffe will magically appear and talk to you.
8. Ask the Tour Guide too many questions and you're suddenly dipped in some sort of sauce and placed in the Tigers den.
9. The Elephant appear to be two guys in a two part Elephant suit.
10. Two words: Hippo Dogs!
What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?
Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth.
Your mom's so dumb, she threw the dog and told the stick to fetch!
Did you hear the joke about the skunk?
Never mind, it stinks.
Teacher: "What does a duck say?"
Jenny: "Quack Quack"
Teacher: "What does a cow say?"
Madison: "Moo"
Teacher: "What does a pig say?"
Little Johnny: "A pig says *holds up gun* get on the wall, you motherfucker!"
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Joke has 55.72 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, kids, little Johnny, vulgar
Three sons left home to make their fortunes, and they all did very, very well for themselves.
They got together recently and were discussing what they each had done to benefit their aging mother.
"Well," said the first one, "I bought Mom a huge house in Beverly Hills."
"I bought her a Mercedes and hired a full-time driver for her."
"I've got you both beat," said the third. "I bought her a miraculous parrot that can recite any Bible verse you tell it to."
A little later, the mother sent out a thank you letter to all three sons.
"Gerald - the house you bought was too big.
I only live in one room, but I have to clean the entire house.
Milton - the car is useless because I don't go anywhere because I'm too old.
But Robert - you know exactly what I like.
The chicken was delicious."
Q: Who was the most famous pirate octopus?
A: Captain Squid.
What does a squid sheriff form?
An octoposse.
Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs?
A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass.
At Night.
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