Why was the little bear so spoiled?
Because its mother panda d to its every whim.
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What does a cow like to do by a campfire?
Roast Moosmallows.
What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?
Whale of fortune.
A policeman caught a mischievous little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other.
"Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, innocent creature I shall personally do to you."
"In that case," said the boy, "I'll give it lots of chocolates as well as all my money and let it go."
Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
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What did the cannibal say when he came home and found his wife chopping up a python and a pygmy?
Oh no, not snake and pygmy pie again!
Patty was sitting in her back yard digging a hole to bury her dead goldfish. Mrs. Johnson, who lived next door, was watching her over the fence.
Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, what are you doing?"
Patty said, "I'm digging a hole to bury my dead goldfish."
Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, don't you think that hole is a little BIG for a goldfish?"
Patty said, "No...it's inside your damn cat!"
Why did the horses kept saying orange juice?
Because a filly gulped to much orange juice that she turned orange!
I hear you take milk baths.
That's right.
Why?
I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.
What do you call a cow that fell in a hole?
A hole-y Cow.