Why was the little bear so spoiled?
Because its mother panda d to its every whim.
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An aquarium is just interactive television for cats.
Yo momma is so hairy when she lifts her armpit up it looks like she's got Bigfoot in a headlock.
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
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Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing?
A: He only had two worms.
What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?
How slime flies.
Q:Why don't giraffes like fast food?
A:Because they can't catch it!
Q: What is a crowbar?
A: A place were crows go to get a drink!
Q: What's the difference between a dog and a fox?
A: About eight beers.
Crocodiles are easy.
They try to kill and eat you.
People are harder.
Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first.
- Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
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