What's black and white, stinks and hangs from a line?
A drip dry skunk.
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Q: What happened when the owl lost his voice?
A: He didn't give a hoot!
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Q. Why are fish so smart?
Q. Why are fish so smart
A. Because they swim in schools!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?
A stripey sweater.
What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A lawn moo-er.
Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls.
The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on top of a cliff.
A magical bird flies to them and tells them that each one of them can jump off the cliff and wish to be one thing to fly away on.
They will become that thing and can escape from their arduous situation.
The redhead goes first.
She jumps and says "eagle!".
She turns into an eagle and flies away.
The brunette jumps off and says,"hawk!" she turns into a hawk and flies away.
The blonde takes a running start, trips on a rock as she nears the edge. "Oh crap!" she yells.
Q: Who was the most famous pirate octopus?
A: Captain Squid.
How do you stop a skunk from smelling?
You hold his nose!
A Democrat walks into a doctor's office with a frog sitting on his head.
The frog looks at the doctor and says, "Hey doc, can you get this wart off my ass?
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly.
So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."