What's green with red spots?
A frog with the chicken pox!
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A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails.
A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.
The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."
Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A: A snake in the brass.
Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose.
Ortoise: How does he smell?
Gemma: Awful!
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields.
The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."
The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
Two crocks rest on the basin of a zoo talking:
Yesterday, the caretaker cursed me, said the older one.
What did you do?
Asks the other. - I’ve swallowed him...
What country do cows love to visit?
Moo Zealand.
How does an octopus go to war?
Well-armed.
Monahan stumbled into a saloon, half crocked.
"Say," he said to the bartender, "how tall is a penguin?"
"About two and a half feet."
"Thank God!" cried Monahan. "I thought I ran over a nun!"