Q:What did the polar bear say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags? A:Mmmm, sandwiches!
What do you call a group of cattle sent into orbit? The first herd shot round the world.
Q: Which side of a deer has the most meat? A: The inside.
Chuck norris once killed a bear with an imaginary knife.
Q. Why did the tiger loose at poker? A. Because he was playing with a cheetah.
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day? A: I'm bakin'.
Chuck Norris bit a spider once then it became Spiderman!
What game do little cows like to play? Moonopoly.
What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond? He had him newt-ered.