Q:What did the polar bear say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags? A:Mmmm, sandwiches!
Yo Momma is so fat… That she makes Godzilla look like an action figure.
What do you get when you cross a bumble bee with a rabbit? A honey bunny.
What is a dolphin's favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
What has antlers, pulls Father Christmas sleigh and is made of cement? I don't know. A reindeer. What about the cement? I just threw that in to make it hard.
Q: Why did the woman get thrown out of the riding stable? A: She wanted to mount the horse her way.
How does a cow do math? With a cowculator.
A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings." The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings." The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs." The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs." Te bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."
Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots? A: Bunny farts!
Q: What do you call a horse that plays the violin in a musical? A: Fiddler on the hoof.
Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested? A: Charged With Battery.