What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
A milkshake.
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What kind of bees make milk instead of honey?
Boobies.
What do you get from a cow on the North Pole?
Cold cream.
Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
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What US state has the most cows?
Moosouri.
The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
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Q: What do you call a cow playing with its self?
A: Beef stroganoff.
Three tortoises, Tinku, Teku and Toku, went into a restaurant. Each of them ordered a large ice cream sundae. They were waiting for their order when they noticed that it was pouring with rain outside.
"We are going to need our umbrellas," said Toku. Tinku agreed. They both decided that Teku should run home to get the umbrellas, but he didn't want to go in case they ate his ice-cream while he was away. But Toku and Tinku promised that they would do nothing of the kind, so Teku set off.
One week went by and Teku did not return. Two weeks went by and still he did not appear. Halfway through the third week, Tinku turned to Toku and said, "Come on, let's eat his ice cream."
"Okay, let's," said Toku.
Just then Teku's voice piped up from under the next table, "If you do, I won't go for that umbrella!"
Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose.
Ortoise: How does he smell?
Gemma: Awful!
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water?
He set a new lap record.