What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
A milkshake.
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Q: Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
A: Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they'd all say: "Bach, Bach, Bach."
What should a rabbit use to keep his fur neat?
A harebrush.
Mohan (to the doctor): "Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?"
Doctor: "Your eyesight seems to be poor."
Mohan: "How did you come to that conclusion?"
Doctor: "You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a veterinary hospital."
Q: What does a cow make when the sun comes out?
A: A shadow.
Where do cows like to ride on trains?
In the cow-boose.
This guy sees a sign in front of a house:
"Talking Dog for Sale."
He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black mutt just sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks. "Yep," the mutt replies. "So, what's your story?"
The mutt looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift pretty young and I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
I was one of their most valuable spies eight years running.
The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger and I wanted to settle down.
So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security work, mostly wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there and was awarded a batch of medals.
Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired." The guy is amazed.
He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
The owner says, "Ten dollars."
The guy says, "This dog is amazing.
Why on earth are you selling him, so cheap?"
The owner replies, "He's such a liar. He didn't do any of that stuff."
I threw a ball for my dog...
It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.
What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle?
A nerd herd.
What are cows favorite party games?
MOO-sical chairs.