What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
A milkshake.
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Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?"
Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"
What do you get from a cow on the North Pole?
Cold cream.
How did the farmer find his lost cow?
He tractor down.
What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?
A tiger moth.
Chuck Norris looked Medusa straight in the eyes, and laughed.
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What is a chameleon's motto?
A change is as good as a rest.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out.
A year later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman "What did you do that for?"
One goldfish to his tankmate: "If there's no God, who changes the water?"