What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milkshake.
Little Red Riding Hood walks through the forest and sees a wolf hunched under a tree with its ears erect and its mouth stretched in a big grimace. She says to the wolf, "My, what big ears you have!" The wolf keeps grimacing. She says, "My, what big eyes you have!" The wolf grimaces even wider, baring his teeth. She says, "My, what big teeth you have!" The wolf finally snaps and says, "F**k off! I'm trying to take a dump."
Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture. Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"! Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep. He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"? Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".
You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right? Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla". Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day. One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby? One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies. Rape
What’s a black spot between two white spots? A fly with cotton wool in her ears!
I was hiking once with my girlfriend. Suddenly a huge brown bear was charging at us, really mad. We must have come close to her cubs. Luckily I had my 9mm pistol with me. One shot to my girlfriend's kneecap was all it took. I could walk away at a comfortable pace.
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
You momma so stupid I see her walking the pigs down the street I'd asked "What she doing?" And she said "Going piggy back riding"!
What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.