Joke #10647

What do you do when two snails have a fight? Leave them to slug it out.
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What's a pet's favorite day? Saint Petrick's Day.
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What do you call it when one bull spies on another bull? A steak-out.
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What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Spot!
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What US state has the most cows? Moosouri.
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How do you tell if a black girls pregnant? Shove a banana up her vagina and if you pull it out half eaten then you got a monkey on the way.
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Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
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Make the world your playground. Whenever you miss the sandbox, cover it up. Dragging a sock over it helps. If you can't get your way, lay across the keyboard till you do. When you are hungry, meow loudly so they feed you just to shut you up. Always find a good patch of sun to nap in. Nap often. When in trouble, just purr and look cute. Life is hard, and then you nap. Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours. Variety is the spice of life. One day, ignore people; the next day, annoy them, and play with them when they're busy. Climb your way to the top, that's why the curtains are there. Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner. Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care".
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A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."
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Birdie, birdie in the sky Dropped some white stuff in my eye, I'm a big girl I won't cry, I'm just glad that cows don't fly.
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Why is manna from heaven like horse hay? Both are food from aloft!
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