What do you do when two snails have a fight?
Leave them to slug it out.
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Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do?
Christy: I'd climb a tree.
Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree?
Christy: I will jump in the lake and swim.
Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you?
Christy: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion's?
Although cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia.
Did you hear about the man who named his horse Radish?
What to polar bears eat for lunch?
(Ice berg-ers!)
What dinosaur can't stay out in the rain?
Stegosaur-rust.
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?
They were very impressed.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down?
It gets toad away.
Q: What do you get when you cross donkey DNA with an onion?
A: A piece of ass that will bring tears to your eyes.
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long?
A runny bunny.
Q: What's meaner than a pit bull with herpes?
A: The guy who gave it to him.
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