What do you do when two snails have a fight?
Leave them to slug it out.
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What must a policeman have before searching a rabbits home?
A search warren.
Bears do not eat bears.
Tigers do not eat tigers.
Dogs do not eat dogs.
Cats stopped eating kebabs.
What four animals does a woman like to have in her house?
A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
A cockerpoodlemoo.
Why are rabbits like calculators?
They both multiply a lot.
How do you lead a horse to water?
With lots of carrots.
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys."
Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch.
"That was amazing," exclaimed the coach.
"I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?"
"Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
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Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
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