Joke #3464

When is the best time to fake an orgasm? When a rottweiler is humping your leg.
Vote: has 24.92 % from 8 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A drunk walks up to a barkeeper one day and says, "If I show you a trick will you give me a free drink?" The Barkeep says "Depends on how good of a trick it is." The Drunk reaches into his pocket and pulls out a frog and places him behind the piano. The frog starts to play the sweetest jazz riff the barkeeper has ever heard. He pours the drunk his drink. The drunk, after killing his drink says, "If I show you another trick can I have another free one?" The barkeep says "If it is anything like that last one, you can drink free all night." The drunk reaches into his other pocket, pulls out a rat, sets it on top of the piano, and the rat starts scatting along with the frog." Impressed, the barkeeper starts to pour drinks as fast as the drunk can drink 'em. After several hours, a big time Hollywood agent walks in, sees the act and franticaly asks the barkeeper who it belongs to. The barkeeper points to the drunk who is passed out on the floor. The agent wakes him up and says, "I will give you 1 Million dollars for that act." The drunks says "not for sale". The agent says, "Ok, 100 grand for just the scating rat." The drunk say, "deal" The agent writes the check and leaves with the rat. The barkeeper looks at the drunk and says, "Are you nuts? You had a Million dollar act that you just broke up for a whimpy 100 g's?" The Drunk says, "Relax, the frog is a vantriliqist."
Vote: has 26.16 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, money
Q: What's a tiger running a copy machine called? A: A copycat!
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!" The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
Vote: has 62.63 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, computer, IT, programmer
A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe, and the giraffe gets waay too drunk. The bartender says, "Hey! you can't leave that lyin' there!" The guy goes, "that's not a lion its a giraffe!"
Vote: has 32.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, drunk
What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel? A bit of a shock really.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate? A: Pork Chop.
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, communication, sport
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert? A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, geography, Thanksgiving
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space? Steer Wars.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Law of Cat Composition A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Two drunks had just gotten thrown out of the bar and are walking down the street when they come across this dog, sitting on the curb, licking his balls. They stand there watching and after a while one of them says, " I sure wish I could do that!" The other one looks at him and says, "Well, I think I'd pet him first".
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, dog, drunk