When is the best time to fake an orgasm?
When a rottweiler is humping your leg.
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A lion was getting rather old and slow and having difficulty catching its prey.
It decided it needed a disguise so that other animals did not know it was a lion and would not run away.
So it goes into a fancy dress shop and buys a gorilla suit.
It then heads for a watering hole to see if it can catch something with its new disguise.
On the way it comes across two eagles sitting on a rock.
One eagle says to it "Hi Mr. Lion!"
The other said, "Where did you get the gorilla suit?"
The lion, rather frustrated, asks, "How did you know I was a lion?"
The eagles then started to sing, "You can't hide your lion eyes".
Where do Russian cows come from?
Moscow.
What happened to the cold jellyfish?
It set.
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm."
Vote:
What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns?
A bull pull.
One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters.
She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her purse.
Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.
We must admit that we want to be like some animals.
We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.
Q: Who was the most famous pirate octopus?
A: Captain Squid.
What do you call an ugly rabbit that sits on someone's forehead?
Unsightly facial hare.