When is the best time to fake an orgasm?
When a rottweiler is humping your leg.
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A mouse chanced on a pool of whiskey that was the result of a raid by prohibition-enforcement agents.
The mouse had had no previous acquaintance with liquor, but now, being thirsty, it took a sip of the strange fluid, and then retired into its hole to think.
After some thought, it returned to the pool, and took a second sip of the whiskey.
It then withdrew again to its hole, and thought.
Presently, it issued and drew near the pool for the third time.
Now, it took a big drink. Nor did it retreat to its hole. Instead, it climbed on a soap box, stood on its hind legs, bristled its whiskers, and squeaked:
"Now, bring on your cat!"
What's a moo hoo for grazing school?
Grass class.
Why did the frog cross the street?
Because the chicken crossed the road.
What's black and white and green?
A frog sitting on a newspaper.
Why did the frog go to the mall?
Because he wanted to go hopping.
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple?
A: The Holocaust.
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What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel?
A bit of a shock really.
A hippo once told me he hated gangs, but then he joined one
What a HippoCrip.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Kanga.
Kanga who?
Actually, it's kangaroo!
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