Joke #10664

Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber? The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A blind man with an assistance dog was getting ready to cross the street. When the dog took him across he almost got ran over by the traffic and the cars where sliding everywhere to avoid hitting him. When he got to the other side, he took out a treat to give to the dog. A spectator who saw what happened couldn't believe his eyes. He ran over to the blind man and said, "Sir, why are you rewarding that dog, he almost got you killed?" The blind man replied, "I'm trying to find his head so I can kick his ass!"
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has 73.48 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal
What are the most athletic rodents? Track and field mice.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, sport
What do cows do for entertainment? They go to the mooooovies.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why did the atheist throw her watch out the window? A: She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird.
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has 30.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, atheist
Why did the chicken cross the road? So he can make you curious.
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore. "Do you have any idea why?" "Well, I had sex with an elephant!" "You did? But elephants are known to have small penises!" "Yeah, but he fingered me first."
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has 55.51 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, elephant, sex
Make the world your playground. Whenever you miss the sandbox, cover it up. Dragging a sock over it helps. If you can't get your way, lay across the keyboard till you do. When you are hungry, meow loudly so they feed you just to shut you up. Always find a good patch of sun to nap in. Nap often. When in trouble, just purr and look cute. Life is hard, and then you nap. Curiosity never killed anything except maybe a few hours. Variety is the spice of life. One day, ignore people; the next day, annoy them, and play with them when they're busy. Climb your way to the top, that's why the curtains are there. Make your mark in the world, or at least spray in each corner. Always give generously; a bird or rodent left on the bed tells them, "I care".
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has 19.47 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
Did you hear about the man who ate nothing but oats every day? He fell in love with the Grand National winner!
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, love
Why is polar bear cheap to have as a pet? It lives on ice.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
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has 53.03 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, celebrity, divorce, marriage