Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber?
The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.
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Man decides to buy a pet, but does not know what he wants as a pet, so he goes to the pet shop in search of a pet.
He sees cats in a cage dogs on another cage spiders, rabbits, frogs, birds, fish in aquariums and finally he sees a very colorful parrot in the corner of the store and he goes to the area where the parrot was and salesman asks him, "Are you interested in this parrot?"
The man says, "Does he talk?" the salesman says, "If you pull his left leg he will say the our father and if you pull his right leg, he will say the hailmary!"
The man says, "What will the parrot say if I pull both legs at the same time?"
The parrot says, "I'll fall on my ass stupid!"
What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?
A merry dairy.
What should you call a bald teddy?
Fred bear .
A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection.
They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap.
When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth.
The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind.
The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity.
He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was.
The rabbit declared that he had the same problem.
Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was.
The snake agreed and started by winding himself around the rabbit.
After a few moments, he announced, "You've got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!"
The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity and proceeded to return the favor to the snake.
After feeling about the snake's body for a few minutes, he asserted, "Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you've got a forked tongue. I think you're a lawyer!"
Teacher: Students, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Class: "Brotherly love."
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs?
A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Q: What is the pink stuff between elephant’s toes?
A: Slow clowns.
Someone figured out my password.
Now I have to rename my dog.
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What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow?
A tail pail.
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: A bird that will talk your ear off!
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