Have you read the book, "100-mile Horse Trek" Who wrote it? Major Bumsore.
The Teacher asked Little Johnny, "How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?" Little Johnny replied, "Just Don't bite any."
What do cows wear when they are on vacation in Hawaii? Moo moos.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month." Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
A man sat at a local bar and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating." "What a coincidence," said the woman next to him. I'm celebrating, too" she replied, clinking glasses with him. "What are your celebrating?" "I'm a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they're finally fertile." "What a coincidence, the woman said. For my husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm pregnant! How did your chickens become fertile?" she asked. "I switched cocks," he replied. "What a coincidence," she said.
Some say Chuck once sneezed a rhino inside out.
Godzilla is a Japanese rendition of Chuck Norris' first visit to Tokyo.
What is a Zebra? A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.
What do you call a flying skunk? A smellicopter.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.