Why did the frog cross the road?
Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
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Q: What do you call a car only British animals can drive?
A: OxFord.
What's green with bumps?
A frog with the measles!
What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an ‘A’ bra.
Q: What is black white and rolls around in the sand?
A: A black man and a segal fighting over a carp.
Vote:
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.
The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
Well, the lady is furious!
She stormed past the store to her work.
On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
She was incredibly ticked now.
The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly."
The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird.
The store manager replied, "That's not good," and promised he wouldn't say it again.
When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady."
She paused and said, "Yes?" The bird said, "You know."
What do you call an easy-going rabbit?
Hoppy-go-lucky.
Your house is so dirty I saw rats on dirt bikes.
What sound do you hear when you drop a bomb on a cow?
Cowboom!
Yo' Mama is so fat, her Polo shirts come with real horses on the pocket.
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet.
"My dog is cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him?"
"Well," said the vet, "let's have a look at him."
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his teeth.
Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down."
"What? Because he's cross-eyed?"
"No, because he's really heavy.“