Why did the frog cross the road?
Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
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What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head?
A tiger moth.
A police station gets 2 new horses and 2 cops are assigned to be mounted policemen.
They go on a ride and come back pleased.
"This horse is great! From now on I'll always take this one" said the first cop.
"My horse's great too. So I'll always take it" replied the second cop.
"But how do we know which is which?"
They though for a minute or two and one of them came up with an idea.
"Lets cut off this ones tail"
The other cop agreed and the horse lost it's tail.
The next morning The police chief is standing infront of the horses and looks really mad.
The two cops see this and ask whats wrong.
"You two morons cut off the horses tail that's what's wrong!"
"But otherwise we couldn't tell them apart."
"Can't you see the black one is a bit taller then the brown one?!"
When is a farmer like a magician?
When he turns his cow into pasture.
Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
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What's red and green and goes at 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
A man walks by a table in a casino and passes three men and a dog playing cards.
‘That’s a very smart dog,’ says the man.
‘He’s not so clever,’ says one of the players.
‘Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail.’
If a four-legged animal is a quadruped and a two-legged animal is a biped.
What's a tiger?
A stri-ped.
I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
Q: Why can't black kids play in the the sandbox?
A: Because the cats keep covering them up.
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