Joke #2352

Why did the frog cross the road? Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
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has 34.78 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A mailman meets a boy and a huge dog. ‘Does your dog bite?’ asks the mailman. ‘No,’ replies the boy. And the dog bites the mailman’s leg. ‘You said he doesn’t bite!’ yells the mailman. ‘That’s not my dog,’ replies the boy.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: animal
What has 2 grey legs and 2 brown legs? An elephant with diarrhea.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, health
How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it.
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has 45.89 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, marriage
Three mice in a pub having a bevy discussing who's the hardest. 1st mouse says I'm the hardest I go up to mousetraps rip the cheese out and as the bar comes down i bench press it 30 times and throw it across the room! 2nd mouse says : you poof! I get rat poison' crush it into powder and snort it. 3rd mouse finishes his drink, gets up and walks to the door, where are you going? asked the other 2. Home he replied to shag the cat!
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
The mommy Cobra with her little son are taking a “walk”. The little cobra asks; "Mommy, are we poisonous?" "Yes, we are. Why you ask?" The little cobra asks again; "Are you sure that we’re poisonous?" "Yes I am!" says the mom with pride. The little one asks again; "Are you very very sure that we’re very poisonous?" "Damn sure! We’re the most poisonous snakes in the whole world! But why you ask?" The little cobra burst into tears; "Cause I bit my tongue a bit before!"
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race appear?" The mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made.." Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved." The confused girl returned to her mother and said, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?" The mother answered, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his."
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has 82.73 % from 241 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, god, kids
Yo mamma so fat and scary, Godzilla watches "yo mamma" movies!
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, insulting, Yo mama
All three sit down at the bar. The bartender looks at the man and says, "What'll ya have?" The man says, "Gimme a beer." The ostrich says, "I'll have one too." The cat says, "I want two beers, but I'm only gonna pay half price." The bartender serves up four beers, and tells the man, "that'll be $12.67." The man reaches in his pocket and without even looking sets exact change down on the bar. After they finish their beers, the bartender asks, "anything else?" The man says, "Gimme a shot of bourbon." The ostrich says, "I'll have one too." The cat says, "I want a double bourbon, but I'm only gonna pay half price." The bartender serves them and says, "That's $14.03." The man reaches into his pocket and without even looking again sets exact change on the bar. After that round, the bartender says, "What else will ya have?" The man says, "I need a Jack and Coke." The ostrich says, "Me too!" The cat says, "I want two Jack and Cokes, and I'm only paying..." "Half price, I know," says the bartender. He sets them up and says, "$16.38, please." The man reaches in his pocket a third time, and again sets exact change on the bar without counting it out. The bartender asks the man, "How is it that every time you pay for your drink order, you can set exact change on the bar without looking?" The man says, "Well, some years ago I was walking on the beach in Egypt, and I found a magic lamp in the sand. I rubbed it, and a genie appeared and granted me three wishes for setting him free. So, with the first wish, I wished that no matter what I ever wanted to buy, I would always have exact change for it in my pocket." The bartender says, "That's brilliant! Most people would wish for a million or five million or whatever. This way, you'll never run out of money, you don't have to worry about carrying it, and you'll never be robbed! Absolutely brilliant." The man says, "I know, and thank you!" The bartender says, "So what did you ask for with your other two wishes?" The man said "A chick with long legs and a tight pussy."
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has 78.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, genie, money
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100? Because when she gets to 69 she has a frog in her throat.
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why are fish so smart? A: Because they live in schools.
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has 56.22 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: animal