Why did the frog cross the road?
Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
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How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?
They were very impressed.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
(A teddy boar!)
Yo Mamma so stupid she put on bug spray before she goes to the flee market!
If they made a movie starring the Loch Ness monster and the great white shark from Jaws, what would the movie be called?
Loch Jaws.
Why did the frog walk across the road?
He didn't... he jumped.
What is the definition of "derange"?
De place where de cowboys ride.
Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.
I'm not paying," said the duck.
"I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it."
"I've spent my last buck," said the deer.
"Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk.
"Getting here cost me my last scent."
Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat?
A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
What do tigers wear in bed?
Stripey pyjamas.