Joke #2352

Why did the frog cross the road? Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
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An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it. Moral of the story: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up...
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What kind of whale flies? Pilot whales.
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When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
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Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
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Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government? A: A civil serpent.
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What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls? Reptiles.
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The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him: "Were you at the fox’s party as well?" "Yes, I was. So what?" "Were you sitting on the table?" "Yeah, why?" The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: "Next time, wherever you go, take an umbrella with you!" "But why, my friend?" the hedgehog wonders. "Cause all night long, I was taking thorns off my ass!"
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How does a cow do math? With a cowculator.
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Bears do not eat bears. Tigers do not eat tigers. Dogs do not eat dogs. Cats stopped eating kebabs.
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"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."
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