Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
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While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee.
His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!"
Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly.
"That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad.
Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor.
She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her.
Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?"
Chuck Norris ate once at Hard Rock Cafe.
It's now called Shakey's.
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Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris.
After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
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Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
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Chuck Norris can unscramble eggs.
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Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
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Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
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Teacher: Kids,what does the chicken give you?
Kids: Meat!
Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you?
Kids: Bacon!
Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you?
Kid: Homework!