Joke #10707

What is the most famous shark? William Sharkspeare.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer, money
A zebra has wondered his whole life whether he was a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes. When he dies and goes to heaven he asks God the question "Am I a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes?" God responds, "You are what you are" The zebra goes to his friends and tells them what God had said and that he still doesn't know the answer to his question. One of his friends says, "Well, that means you are a white zebra with black stripes" The zebra asks him why and the friend says, "Because otherwise God would have said 'You is what you is'"
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has 54.98 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, life, racist
How is cat food sold? Usually purr can!
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
I’ve never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man they love in a cat.
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal
How do elephants hide in the jungle? Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries! What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys eating cherries...
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow? He wanted rich milk.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, money
Two statues, male and female, faced each other in the city park for many years. An angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire." The statues came to life and smiled at each other. They ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping. After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?" The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?" Giggling, the female statue said, "Sure, but this time, you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on its head!"
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has 81.81 % from 191 votes. More jokes about: animal, couple, disgusting, life, time
What do tigers wear in bed? Stripey pyjamas.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Pet Owner: "Every time a bell rings, my dog goes and sits in the corner." Vet: "That's perfectly normal; he's a boxer."
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
Customer: "Waiter, what’s the meaning of this fly in my tea up?" Waiter: "I wouldn’t know sir, I’m a waiter, not a fortune teller."
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has 69.39 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, life