Joke #10707

What is the most famous shark? William Sharkspeare.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Your house is so dirty I saw rats on dirt bikes.
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has 23.75 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty
A blonde and her husband were driving home, when they hit a rabit. They both got out of the car and stood over the poor creature. The blonde and her husband just stood their, when she said "Oh I know." So she when in the car and rumaged through her purse and came out with what looked a bottle. She poured it on the rabit and they both got in the car. Suddenly the rabit got up hopped a little bit and waved, hopped a little and waved, hopped to the top of the hill and waved. Then dissapered over it. The husband just stared at his wife and said "Honey, what did you pour on that rabit?" His wife just said "Hair Restorer with a permanent wave."
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, car, driving, life
Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate? A: Pork Chop.
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has 63.42 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, sport
Which is the most dangerous animal in the Northern Hemisphere? Yak the Ripper.
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has 52.49 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two crocks rest on the basin of a zoo talking: Yesterday, the caretaker cursed me, said the older one. What did you do? Asks the other. - I’ve swallowed him...
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat’s milk. The older of the mothers pulls a bag out of her purse and starts flipping through photos. And they start reminiscing. "This is my oldest son Mohammed. He would be 24 years old now." "Yes, I remember him as a baby" says the other mother cheerfully. "He’s a martyr now though" mum confides. "Oh, so sad, dear" says the other. "And this is my second son Kalid. He would be 21." "Oh, I remember him," says the other happily, "he had such curly hair when he was born." "He’s a martyr too" says mum quietly. "Oh, gracious me…" says the other. "And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would be 18," she whispers. "Yes" says the friend enthusiastically, "I remember when he first started school." "He’s a martyr also," says mum, with tears in her eyes. After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and says, "They blow up so fast, don’t they?"
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has 59.42 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, black humor, food
A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore. "Do you have any idea why?" "Well, I had sex with an elephant!" "You did? But elephants are known to have small penises!" "Yeah, but he fingered me first."
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has 55.57 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, doctor, elephant, sex
A man walked into his backyard one morning and found there was a gorilla in a tree. He called a gorilla-removal service, and soon a serviceman arrived with a stick, a Chihuahua, a pair of handcuffs and a shotgun. "Now listen carefully," he told the homeowner, "I'm going to climb the tree and poke the gorilla with this stick until he falls to the ground. The trained Chihuahua will then go right for his, uh, sensitive area, and when the gorilla instinctivly crosses his hands in front to protect himself, you slap the handcuffs on" "Ok, got it." the homeowner replied. "But whats that shotgun for?" "If I fall out of the tree before the gorilla," the man said, "shoot the Chihuahua."
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has 78.73 % from 247 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey. The country there now is only an impostor.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
The male worm towards the female worm: Baby, if you don’t take me as you’re husband, I’m throwing myself to the chickens!
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, husband