Joke #10559

Why did the tadpole feel lonely? Because he was newt to the area.
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Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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Why do polo bears like bald men? Because they have a great, white, bear place.
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A guy meets a hooker in a bar. She says, "This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for $300, as long as you can say it in three words." The guy replies, "Hey, why not?" He pull his wallet out of his pocket, and one at a time lays three hundred-dollar bills on the bar, and says, slowly: "Paint…my…house."
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What do you call a tired cow? Milked out.
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A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy. A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks. He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
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Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
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Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? A: Finding half a worm."
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Why do elephants squirt water through their noses? If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim.
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Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan? He got cut off without a scent.
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Yo mama is so stupid, when I offered her animal crackers she said no thanks, I'm a vegetarian.
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