What did the frog say to the fly?
You are really starting to bug me!
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What do you get when you cross a bumble bee with a rabbit?
A honey bunny.
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked?
Udder chaos.
Mother to little boy: ‘Stop pulling the cat’s tail.’
Boy: ‘I’m not.
I’m just holding it.
It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.’
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
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What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts?
Shark absorbers.
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur?
A stinkasaurus.
Q: Why do gorillas have big noses?
A: Because they have big fingers!
YOUR MOMS HOUSE IS SO POOR I WENT TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND A ROACH TRIPPED ME AND A RAT TOOK MY WALET.
An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland.
The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, "How odd. Scottish sheep are black."
"No, no, no!" says the physicist.
"Only some Scottish sheep are black."
The mathematician rolls his eyes at his companions' muddled thinking and says, "In Scotland, there is at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side of which appears black from here."