What did the frog say to the fly?
You are really starting to bug me!
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What did the flower say to be the bee?
"Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
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Q. What's green and red?
A. A very mad frog.
Q: Which American duo became famous for stealing horses?
A: Bonnie and Clydesdale.
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare line.
Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow?
A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
Why do lions always eat raw meat?
"Because they don't know how to cook."
A frog goes into a bank, and hops up on the desk of the loan officer. ''Hi,'' he croaks.
''What's your name?''
The loan officer says, ''My name is John Paddywack.
May I help you?''
''Yeah,'' says the frog.
''I'd like to borrow some money.''
The loan officer finds this a little odd, but gets out a form.
''Okay,what's your name?''
The frog replies, ''Kermit Jagger.''
''Really?'' says the loan officer.
''Any relation to Mick Jagger?''
''Yeah, he's my dad.''
''Hmmm,'' says the loan officer.
''Do you have any collateral?''
The frog hands over a pink ceramic elephant and asks, ''Will this do?''
The loan officer says, ''Um, I'm not sure.
Let me go check with the bank manager.''
''Oh, tell him I said hi,'' adds the frog. ''He knows me.''
The loan officer goes back to the manager and says, ''Excuse me, sir, but there's a frog out there named Kermit Jagger who wants to borrow some money. All he has for collateral is this pink elephant thing; I'm not even sure what it is.''
The manager says: ''It's a knick-knack, Paddywack, give the frog a loan; his old man's a Rolling Stone.''