Joke #2363

What did the frog say to the fly? You are really starting to bug me!

Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.

Two men were walking along the street when they came upon a dog licking his dick. One man said, "I sure wish I could do that." The other replied, "You can, but you're probably going to have to pet him first."

Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!

Q: What do you call a pig who knows karate? A: Pork Chop.

A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach. Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff." So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away. Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away. Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"

It's a really hot day and this penguin is having car trouble, so he takes it into a garage. The penguin asks, "How long will it be?" The mechanic says, "Just a few minutes." So the penguin decides to go get an ice cream at the grocery store across the street. When the penguin gets there he climbs inside the big freezer door and starts to eat ice cream. Three hours go by before the penguin looks at his watch and jumps out of the freezer and races back to the garage. With ice cream all over his face and his stomach he says, "So, how's my car?" The mechanic comes walking out wiping his hands on a rag and says, "Looks like you blew a seal." The penguin says, "No, no, no, I was just eating ice cream."

Did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory? Alike did was stand around making faces.

"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm." "Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?" "I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"

The cowboy was trying to buy a health insurance policy. The insurance agent was going down the list of standard questions. "Ever have an accident?" "Nope, nary a one." "None? You've never had any accidents." "Nope. Ain't had one. Never." "Well, you said in this form you were bitten by a snake once. Wouldn't you consider that an accident?" "Heck, no. That dang varmint bit me on purpose."

A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem. As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed. "I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go." The physician was checking hers eyes and ears. "Don't feel ashamed, Miss. You don't look that bad." "Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked. The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."