What did the frog say to the fly? You are really starting to bug me!
Who held the baby octopus to ransom? Squidnappers.
Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road? To get to the other side… er, no… to go shopping… no, not that either… damn it!
There was a blonde a redhead and a brunette running from a cop. They hide in potato sacks. The officer kicks each bag....when he kicks the redheads bag she goes meow....when he kick the brunettes bag she goes ruff...when he kicks the blondes bag she goes potatoes!
A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a dinosaur? A stinkasaurus.
How are skunks able to avoid danger? By using their instinks and common scents.
Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milkshake.