Joke #10729

What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours? A hermit crab.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice? He was a sherbet!
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
Vote: has 68.80 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots.
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
Vote: has 65.88 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bar, food, math
I feel like every nature documentary is directed by a psychopath. "Here's the cutest baby animal ever." "Now let's watch something eat it."
Vote: has 66.01 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dead baby, death
Why was the little bear so spoiled? Because its mother panda d to its every whim.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
What do cows do for entertainment? They go to the mooooovies.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, "We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, "We don't serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings." The bear, very angry now, says, "If you don't serve me a beer, I'm going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings." The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer. The bartender states, "Sorry, we don't serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs." The bear says, "I'm NOT on drugs." Te bartender says, "You are now. That was a barbitchyouate."
Vote: has 21.90 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, beer
A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach. Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff." So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away. Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away. Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"
Vote: has 34.09 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, blonde, genie, ginger
A gorilla was walking through the jungle when he came across a deer eating grass in a clearing. The gorilla roared, "Who is the king of the jungle?" and the deer replied, "Oh, you are, Master." The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. The gorilla roared, "Who is the king of the jungle?" The zebra replied, "Oh, you are, Master." The gorilla walked off pleased. Then he came across an elephant. "Who is the king of the jungle?" he roared. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him. The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said, "Okay, okay, there’s no need to get mad just because you don’t know the answer."
Vote: has 78.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal