What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours?
A hermit crab.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
What do cows call Frank Sinatra?
Old Moo Eyes.
Which big cat should you never play cards with?
A cheetah.
A magician worked on a cruise ship.
The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again.
There was only one problem: the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.
Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"
The magician was furious but couldn't do anything.
It was, after all, the captain's parrot.
Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board.
The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it... with the parrot.
They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word.
This went on for a day... and then 2 days and then 3 days.
Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said... "OK, I give up. Where's the fucking ship?"
What do you call a gay dinosaur?…… Mega-sore-ass.
Why do rabbits go to the beauty parlor?
For hare care.
How can you tell a rabbit from a skunk?
A skunk uses a cheaper deodorant.
One day a man heard knocking at his door.
He opened the door only to see a small snail sitting there smiling.
The guy picked the snail up and threw it as far as he possibly could.
Three years later he heard knocking at the door again.
He opened the door to see the snail.
The snail said, "What the hell was that all about?"
Vote:
Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet?
A: Winnie the Pooh.
Vote:
Q: Why should you never set the turkey next to the desert?
A: Because he will gobble, gobble it up!
Vote: