Joke #9967

What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat? Shipped beef.

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges? He's the Easter Bungee.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked a tadpole and turned it into a frog, then he kicked it again and it died.

A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".

What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt? Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.

Two statues, male and female, faced each other in the city park for many years. An angel appeared before the statues and said, "Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire." The statues came to life and smiled at each other. They ran toward some nearby woods and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping. After 15 minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, "You still have 15 minutes. Would you like to continue?" The male statue looked at the female and asked, "Do you want to do it again?" Giggling, the female statue said, "Sure, but this time, you hold the pigeon down and I'll crap on its head!"

How do you lead a horse to water? With lots of carrots.

Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were competing to see which one is more hardcore. The first one says," Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out." The second says, " Once I was swimming in a river, and an annocanda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth." Chuck norris just smiles and continues tending to the campfire with his penis.

How many tickles does it take to make a squid laugh? Ten-tickles.

Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing? He was always standing up on the job!