What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat?
Shipped beef.
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How to catch a polar bear:
Go up north and find a frozen lake or pond.
Cut a large hole in the ice.
Open a can of green peas, and place the peas around the edge of the hole single file.
Hide behind a nearby rock.
When the bear comes up to take a pea, kick him in the ice-hole!
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?
They were very impressed.
When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap.
When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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Two goldfish are in a tank.
One said to the other: "Do you know how to drive this thing?"
Why did the duck get arrested?
because he was selling quack.
My cat can talk.
I asked her what two minus two was and she said nothing.
How does a frog feel when he has a broken leg?
Unhoppy.
What is the most important use for cowhide?
To hold the cow together.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
I have no I-Deer.