What do you call a bull that's sent overseas by boat? Shipped beef.
Chuck Norris created the platypus by roundhouse kicking a duck at a beaver.
What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny? Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.
Q. What's green and red? A. A very mad frog.
Turtle to turtle: "Don't ya just love the sound of rain on your roof?"
One day a man heard knocking at his door. He opened the door only to see a small snail sitting there smiling. The guy picked the snail up and threw it as far as he possibly could. Three years later he heard knocking at the door again. He opened the door to see the snail. The snail said, "What the hell was that all about?"
Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?" The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice? He was a sherbet!
Question: What do you get when you cross a shark and a parrot? Answer: a creature that talks your ear off.
A beautiful princess comes upon a frog in a meadow near her castle. The frog hops into the princess' lap and says, "My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set-up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever be happy doing so." That night, as the princess dines on lightly sauteed frog legs, she chuckles to herself, "I don't f**kin' think so."
What is a zebra? 26 sizes larger than an ‘A’ bra.