What do you get if you cross an eel with a shopper? A slippery customer.
What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle? A nerd herd.
They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.
Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first blonde said, “Those are deer tracks.” The second blonde said, “No those are elk tracks.” The third blonde said, “You’re both wrong, those are moose tracks.” The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them. Emma: So, what kind of tracks were they?
Q: What's gray on the inside and clear on the outside? A: An elephant in a plastic bag.
A man asks a farmer near a field, "Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train." The farmer says, "Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you'll even catch the 4:11 one."
There's two fish in a tank, and one says ''How do you drive this thing?''
How do you weigh a whale? On Whale Weigh Scales.
Q: Why don't black kids play in sand boxs? A: Because they are affraid the cats will try to cover them up.
What flies around your light at night and can bite off your head? A tiger moth.
What did the judge say when the skunk was on trial? Odour in court.