Joke #10747

What do you get if you cross an eel with a shopper? A slippery customer.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A policeman caught a mischievous little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other. "Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, innocent creature I shall personally do to you." "In that case," said the boy, "I'll give it lots of chocolates as well as all my money and let it go."
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has 78.82 % from 290 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, food, kids, money
What did the idiot call his pet zebra? Spot!
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has 26.16 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call a rabbit that plays with foxes? A dumb bunny.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, game
A man goes into a pub with a cat sitting on his head. The barman pulls him a pint and says,‘Look I don’t know if you know it but there’s a cat sitting on your head.’ ‘What of it?’ asks the man.‘I always wear a cat on my head on a Monday.’ ‘But today’s Tuesday,’ replies the barman. ‘Oh God.Is it?’ says the man. ‘I must look a right prat.’
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has 12.61 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
A magician worked on a cruise ship. The audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: the captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick.  Once he understood, he started shouting in the middle of the show, "Look, it's not the same hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under the table!" or "Hey, why are all the cards the ace of spades?"  The magician was furious but couldn't do anything. It was, after all, the captain's parrot.  Then one stormy night on the Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning almost all who were on board. The magician luckily found himself on a piece of wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate would have it... with the parrot. They stared at each other with hatred, but did not utter a word. This went on for a day... and then 2 days and then 3 days. Finally on the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any longer and said... "OK, I give up. Where's the fucking ship?"
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has 84.30 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
Where does a cow stop to drink? The milky way.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you call the reindeer with one eye higher than the other? Isaiah.
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has 60.16 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you get from a cowmedian? Cream of Wit.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school? A: Hissssstory.
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has 51.00 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal, history, school
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal