What do you get if you cross an eel with a shopper?
A slippery customer.
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Chuck Norris eats beef jerky and craps gunpowder.
Then, he uses that gunpowder to make a bullet, which he uses to kill a cow and make more beef jerky.
Some people refer to this as the "Circle of Life."
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth.
The next day he won the lottery.
Vote:
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
The old mosquito puts the little baby’s to bed and tells them:
If you are good, tomorrow I’m going to take you to the nudists.
Why can't Miss Piggy count to 100?
Because when she gets to 69 she has a frog in her throat.
A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow.
The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking.
He calls to the rabbit to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety.
The rabbit runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found.
He drives the farmer’s Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper.
He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the rabbit and horse were playing in the meadow again and the rabbit fell into the mud hole.
The rabbit yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.
The horse said, “I think I can stand over the hole!”
So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, “Grab for my dick and pull yourself up.”
And the rabbit did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don’t need a Mercedes!
Q: How do you know the Easter Bunny is really smart?
A: Because he's an egghead.
Q.How do you catch a polar bear?
A.You cut a hole in the ice and you put peas all round the edge and when the polar bear comes along and stops for a pea,you kick it in the ice hole.
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day.
One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby?
One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies.
Rape