What do you get if you cross an eel with a shopper? A slippery customer.
Q: What does an elephant use as tampon? A: A sheep.
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house that he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of relief, then he asked the parrot: "What's your name?" "Clarence," said the bird. "That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot said, "The same idiot who named the Rottweiller, Jesus."
There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."
What does a bunny use when it goes fishing? A harenet.
Q. How do rednecks have safe sex? A. They mark the sheep that kick!
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner? A charmer farmer.
What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater? Claws.
What do you call a mobile homes for rabbits? Wheelburrows.
What do you call an easy-going rabbit? Hoppy-go-lucky.