What do you get if you cross an eel with a shopper?
A slippery customer.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
Q: Why did the elephant paint himself diffrent colours?
A: So he could hide in the crayon box!
If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mountain lion, which one would you shoot first?
The mountain lion.
You can always shoot the bull.
Why do lions always eat raw meat?
"Because they don't know how to cook."
Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school?
A: Hissssstory.
Chuck Norris looked Medusa straight in the eyes, and laughed.
Vote:
What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas?
A red jellyfish.
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee.
His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!"
Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly.
"That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad.
Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor.
She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her.
Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?"
Q: What did the apple say to the worm?
A: You're boring me.
Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp.
The small one turns to the big one and says; I don't understand how you can be so much bigger than me.
We're the same age, we were the same size as kids... I just don't get it."
"Well," says the big alligator, "what have you been eating?"
"Lawyers, same as you," replies the small alligator.
"Hm. Well, where do you catch 'em?"
"Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp."
"Same here.
Hm.
How do you catch 'em?"
"Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock the door.
Then I jump out, bite 'em, shake the shit out of 'em, and eat 'em!"
"Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem.
See, by the time you get done shakin' the shit out of a lawyer, there's nothing left but lips and a briefcase..."