Joke #10747

What do you get if you cross an eel with a shopper? A slippery customer.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, "Does your dog bite?" The shopkeeper says, "No, my dog does not bite." The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. "Ouch!" He says, "I thought you said your dog does not bite!" The shopkeeper replies, "That is not my dog!"
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has 74.08 % from 74 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog
A lady goes into a bar with her goose. Then the bartender comes up to her and says, "Why did you have to bring the pig in with you?" Then the lady answered, "Excuse me, I think this is a goose." And the bartender says, "Excuse me, I was talking to the goose."
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has 44.95 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, bartender, insulting, women
Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, time
How did the farmer find his lost cow? He tractor down.
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has 63.22 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, travel
What are the spots on black-and-white cows? Holstaines.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you get if you cross a longhorn with a knight? Sir Loin.
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he managed for sex. "What's that?" he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree." Horrified, she said, "Tarzan, you have it all wrong. I'll show you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide. "Here," she said, "You must put it in here." Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick, right in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?" "Checking for bees!" said Tarzan.
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has 79.73 % from 1441 votes. More jokes about: animal, life, sex
Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, god
What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milkshake.
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has 50.96 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal
Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber? The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal