What do you get if you cross an eel with a shopper? A slippery customer.
Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way!
A circus owner walked into a bar to see everyone crowded about a table watching a little show. On the table was an upside down pot and a duck tap dancing on it. The circus owner was so impressed that he offered to buy the duck from its owner. After some wheeling and dealing, they settled for $10,000 for the duck and the pot. Three days later the circus owner runs back to the bar in anger, "Your duck is a ripoff! I put him on the pot before a whole audience, and he didn't dance a single step!" "What!?" asked the duck's former owner, "did you remember to light the candle under the pot?"
Sharks watch Chuck Norris week.
There where two snakes talking. The 1st one said 'Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they're dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?'. Then the second Snake says "Why do you ask?" The 1st one replies: "I just bit my lip!"
What’s black and white and makes a lot of noise? A zebra with a drum kit.
What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way? He whale-d.
What is the difference between a man and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
What does a spider do when he gets angry? He goes up the wall!
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!