Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit?
It was an inn-grown hare.
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Q: What is a black cat's favorite color?
A: Purrrrrr-ple!
Yo' Mama is like a donkey: everybody rides the ass.
What’s a mouse’s favorite record?
Please cheese me!
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day?
A: Forget-me-nuts.
Vote:
A man has a racehorse, never won a race.
Man in disgust says, "Horse, you win today or you pull a milk wagon tomorrow morning."
The starting gate opens, the horses take-off, they move the gate away and there lays his horse asleep on the track.
He kicks the horse and asks, "Why are you sleeping?"
The horse, half asleep says, "I have to get up at three in the morning."
A man and his little boy were walking through the park when a honeybee landed near them.
The boy ran over and stomped on it. The father gave him a lecture about having respect for living things and added, "Just for that you can’t have any honey for two weeks!"
Pretty soon a butterfly landed near them.
The boy ran over and stomped on it.
Again, the father gave him a lecture and added, "Just for that you can’t have any butter for two weeks!"
When they got home, they went into the kitchen, and a cockroach ran across the floor.
The mother ran over and stomped on it.
The boy said to his father, "Well do you want to tell her, or shall I?"
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
Q: What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?
A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
How should you treat a baby goat?
Like a kid.