Did you hear about the rabbit who got a job in a watch factory?
Alike did was stand around making faces.
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Two lawyers walking through the woods attracted the attention of a vicious-looking bear.
The bear noticed them, and started to walk toward them.
The first lawyer immediately opened his briefcase, pulling out a pair of sneakers, and started putting them on.
The second lawyer looked at him and said: "You're crazy! You'll never be able to outrun that bear!"
"Oh, I know that. Bears are much faster than humans.
I have no hope of ever being able to outrun a bear."
"If you know that, why are you changing shoes?"
"Well, the way I figure it," the first lawyer replied, "I don't have to outrun the bear.
I only have to outrun you."
Blonde 1: Don't tell anyone but Bees scare me.
Blonde 2: Dont worry, the whole alphabet scares me
Unicorns are extinct but Chuck Norris used all their horns as toothpicks.
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Q: Why is the old, worn out horse named Flattery?
A: Because it gets you nowhere.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Owls say.
Owls say who?
Yep, that they do.
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What is a bear's favourite drink?
Koka-Koala.
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
Q: How do you know Noah was a White man?
A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
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What's a skunk's philosophy of life?
Eat, stink and be merry.