Mama bear to Papa bear: "Well... You might call it hibernating — I call it goofing off ."
Your house is so dirty I saw rats on dirt bikes.
A monkey goes into a bar and asks the barman: - Do you have any bananas? - No,I don't. ( says the barman) - Do you have any bananas? (asks the monkey) - No,I have not got any bananas! - Do you have any bananas? - If you ask me that question one more time, I'll nail your tongue to the counter! - Do you have any nails? - No,I don't. - Do you have any bananas?
Q: Why did the atheist throw her watch out the window? A: She wanted to see if it was designed intelligently enough to evolve into a bird.
Where do Danish cows come from? Cowpenhagenf.
What South American dance do cows like to do? The Rump-a.
A skunk family had two little skunks they called In and Out. One day little In disappeared. Mother Skunk, Father Skunk and young Out spent hours looking for him, getting more worried all the time. In the end the parents went home to have a cup of tea, but Out said he d continue searching for a while. Half an hour later he returned home, with a tired In following behind him. "However did you find him?" asked Father Skunk. "In-stinct," replied Out.
What happened to the cold jellyfish? It set.
What does a bunny use when it goes fishing? A harenet.
Why do zebras have stripes? Because the spots where all over.
A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach. Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff." So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away. Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away. Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"