Mama bear to Papa bear: "Well... You might call it hibernating — I call it goofing off ."
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Q. What's black and white and green?
A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.
What do you call a bear with no teeth, a gummy bear!
Q: Why couldn't the pony sing?
A: Because he's a little hoarse.
You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
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Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
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When should you feel sorry for a skunk?
When its spray pump is out of order!.
A man is trapped on a desert island with a sheep and a dog.
After a few months, the sheep starts looking really attractive to the man.
However, whenever he approaches the sheep the dog begins to growl in a threatening manner.
The man takes the dog to the opposite side of the island giving it some food as a distraction.
He runs back to the sheep only to find the dog growling at him.
The man ties the dog to a tree with a large leash.
He goes back to the sheep only to find the dog growling with a gnawed off leash around its neck.
By now, the man is getting depressed and frustrated.
As he sits under a palm tree staring out to sea, a beautiful woman in a tight-fitting wet suit emerges from the surf.
She asks him who he is and, taking pity upon his lonely state, asks if there's ANYTHING she could do for him.
The man thinks for a moment and then responds: "Could you take the dog for a walk?"
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What do cows do when they re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.