Joke #10784

Mama bear to Papa bear: "Well... You might call it hibernating — I call it goofing off ."
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There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck. Some time went by, and the case got to court. The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, "How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that you felt fine?" The man replied. "Well sir, it was like this. We was driving down the road, minding our own business, when a big trailer truck came out of nowhere and creamed us. When I came to, I was in the ditch, and a trooper was pulling up with his car. He looked at the hogs, and they was most dead, so he shot them. Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot him." Then he came over to me and he said, "How you feeling?" I said, "I never felt better in my life."
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Q: What is a snake's favorite subject in school? A: Hissssstory.
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Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender… "Pour me a stiff one – just had another fight with the little woman." "Oh yeah?" said Charlie "And how did this one end?" "When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her hands and knees." "Really," said Charles, "now that's a switch! What did she say?" "She said, 'Come out from under the bed, you little chicken.'"
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Q. What did one frog say to another? A. You're such a WART!
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Dogs have owners. Cats have staff.
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Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
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What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space? Steer Wars.
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Chuck Norris Killed Medusa with a round house Kick.
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What animals do you bring to bed? Your calves.
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What's green with bumps? A frog with the measles!
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