Joke #2873

What's three meters high and jumps every ten seconds? A dinosaur with the hiccups.

A deer hunter who was an atheist was out in the woods when suddenly a 1,000-pound deer stepped out. "Good God!" exclaimed the hunter. Suddenly, a voice from Heaven said, "I thought you don't believe in me." The hunter replied, "Up until now I didn't believe in 1,000-pound deer either."

A young couple is out for a romantic Valentine's Day walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll, the lad's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind, but I really do need to take a piss." Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity, he suggests she go behind a nearby hedge. She nods in agreement and disappears behind the shrubbery. As he waits, he can hear the sound of her tight panties rolling down her long legs and imagines what is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches through a gap in the foliage, and his hand touches her leg. He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly, and with great astonishment, he finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage that's hanging between her legs. He shouts in horror, "My God, Claudette, I had no idea you were actually a man!" "No, you don't understand!" she replies. "I changed my mind, I'm taking a crap instead."

An asp in the grass is a snake, but a grasp in the ass is a goose.

What do you get if you cross a cat with a gorilla? An animal that puts you out at night.

Q: What's gray on the inside and clear on the outside? A: An elephant in a plastic bag.

Q: How does a blonde kill a worm? A: She burys it.

Why did the dinosaur have so few friends? Because Tyrannosaurus reeks!

What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.

How do rabbits get to work? By rabbit transit.

Chuck Norris once uppercut a horse and that is how the giraffe was created.