What's three meters high and jumps every ten seconds?
A dinosaur with the hiccups.
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Two fish swim into a concrete wall.
One turns to the other and says: "Dam"
How would you get four reindeer in a car?
Two in the front and two in the back.
And how do you get four polar bears in a car?
Take the reindeer out first.
What do you call a cow that fell in a hole?
A hole-y Cow.
Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
A: De-calf-i-nated.
Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges?
He's the Easter Bungee.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It was escaping from K.F.C.
Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
Q: Who was the most famous pirate octopus?
A: Captain Squid.
A lion woke up one morning feeling really rowdy and mean.
He went out and cornered a small monkey and roared,
"Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The trembling monkey says, "You are, mighty lion!
Later, the lion confronts a ox and fiercely bellows,
"Who is the mightiest of all jungle animals?"
The terrified ox stammers, "Oh great lion, you are the mightiest animal in the jungle!"
On a roll now, the lion swaggers up to an elephant and roars,
"Who is mightiest of all jungle animals?"
Fast as lightning, the elephant snatches up the lion with his trunk, slams him against a tree half a dozen times leaving the lion feeling like it'd been run over by a safari wagon.
The elephant then stomps on the lion till it looks like a corn tortilla and ambles away.
The lion lets out a moan of pain, lifts his head weakly and hollers after the elephant -
"Just because you don't know the answer, you don't have to get so upset about it!"