What's three meters high and jumps every ten seconds?
A dinosaur with the hiccups.
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What's a rabbits favorite song?
"Hoppy Birthday to You."
Q: Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks?
A: Professional courtesy.
What did one slug say to another who had hit him and rushed off?
I ll get you next slime.
Q. What did the frog say to the fly?
A. You are really starting to bug me!
A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop.
The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "OK old fart, time for you to retire."
The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?"
The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over."
The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop."
The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start."
The old rooster takes off running.
About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him.
They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.
He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast.
The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by.
The Old Rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can.
The Farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits.
The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Dammit... third fucking rooster I bought this month."
Moral of this story?
Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age, skill, wisdom, and a little treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance!
Why couldn't the cow leave the farm?
She was pasteurized.
That tornado damage your cow barn any?
Dunno.
Haven't found the durn thing yet.
What do you call a turtle with a hard on?
A slow poke.
Scooby Doo prefers Norris snacks'.
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