What's three meters high and jumps every ten seconds?
A dinosaur with the hiccups.
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The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
What do cows read at the breakfast table?
The moospaper.
What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle?
A polo bear.
It is better to enter the mouth of a tiger than a court of law.
Q: What do you call a cow that's had an abortion?
A: De-calf-i-nated.
"Does your dog bite?"
"No."
(Tries to touch dog. Dog bites him)
"Argh! I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!"
"That is not my dog."
When is the best time to fake an orgasm?
When a rottweiler is humping your leg.
One day a teacher asked the class, "What is the difference between a bird and a fly?"
A student then replied, "A bird can fly but a fly cannot bird."
Vote:
If toast always lands butter-side down and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast to the back of a cat and drop it?