What's three meters high and jumps every ten seconds? A dinosaur with the hiccups.
On the show Man v.s Wild, when they talk about the profesionals that Bear recieves help from, they are refering to Chuck Norris.
A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead. Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion. The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple of times before shaking his head. "There" says the vet," Your hamster is dead". Still not happy the man asks for a third opinion. The vet opens the back door and in bounds a cat. The cat jumps onto the table and looks the hamster up and down for a few minutes before looking up and shaking it's head. "It's definitely dead sir", says the vet. Convinced, the man enquires how much he owes. "That will be L1000, please". "A L1000 just to tell me my hamster is dead" fumes the man. "Well", says the vet, "There's my diagnosis, the lab report and the cat scan".
Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would've.
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins.
The mouse and the elephant stay on the trunk of a smitten tree. Near them passes the giraffe, who asks them: Who pulled out this tree from his root? Me off course, says the mouse, but the elephant helped a bit.
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat? He had to get a new goat.
Why did the frog read Sherlock Holmes? He liked a good croak and dagger.
Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
Teacher: If a lion is chasing you, what would you do? Christy: I'd climb a tree. Teacher: if the lion climbs a tree? Christy: I will jump in the lake and swim. Teacher: if the lion also jumps in the water and swims after you? Christy: Teacher, are you on my side or on the lion's?