Joke #2873

What's three meters high and jumps every ten seconds? A dinosaur with the hiccups.
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The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it. The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist. The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming. The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"
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Why can’t elephants go on the beach? Because they can’t keep there trunks up.
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Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull? Answer: Lipstick.
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A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
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Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse? It got angry and bit at the champ!
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Why do police dogs lick their balls? To get the taste of Nigger out their mouths.
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I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.
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Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head. "Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper." "What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
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