Joke #10635

What is the best advice to give a worm? Sleep late.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Dog Property Laws 1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If its in my mouth, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine. 6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway. 7. If it just looks like mine, its mine. 8. If I saw it first, its mine. 9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. 10. If its broken, its yours.
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has 73.77 % from 361 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
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has 80.53 % from 350 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician are on a train in Scotland. The astronomer looks out of the window, sees a black sheep standing in a field, and remarks, "How odd. Scottish sheep are black." "No, no, no!" says the physicist. "Only some Scottish sheep are black." The mathematician rolls his eyes at his companions' muddled thinking and says, "In Scotland, there is at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side of which appears black from here."
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has 66.53 % from 111 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers. He noticed a bull nearby. Say, farmer "Is that bull safe?" "Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!"
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has 78.77 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What is a black cat's favorite color? A: Purrrrrr-ple!
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat
What happened to the cold jellyfish? It set.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
A three-year-old boy fell eighteen feet into a zoo enclosure containing seven gorillas. He was immediately rescued, not by zookeepers, but by one of the animals. The 150 lb. female gorilla picked up the unconscious form of the boy and laid it at a door to be easily retrieved by zookeepers. This cross-species rescue has resulted in thousands of dollars in donations to the zoo. It is perhaps because of these donations that zookeepers have kept quiet about one vital detail, a hastily scrawled note tucked in the boy's collar: "Thanks; but we prefer fruit."
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
A woman gets onto a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "There's no call for that. You go right up there and tell him off. Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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has 72.78 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, women
What's an octopuses favourite latin saying? Squid pro quo.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos? Czechs and stripes don’t mix.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal