What is the best advice to give a worm?
Sleep late.
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David received a parrot for his birthday.
The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary.
Every other word was an obscenity.
Those that weren’t expletives, were to say the least, rude.
David tried hard to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of. Nothing worked.
He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back.
He shocked the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude.
Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the bird in the freezer, just for a few moments.
He heard the bird squawk and kick and scream-then suddenly, there was quiet.
David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.
The parrot calmly stepped out and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’ll endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness.”
David was astonished at the bird’s change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, “May I ask what did the chicken do?”
Q: How do you know Noah was a White man?
A: No nigger could stay on a boat for 40 days without eating the chickens!
Vote:
What's a moo hoo for a stuffed steer?
A full bull.
How do you start a teddy bear race?
Ready, teddy, go.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
(A gummy bear!)
It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that cow's butt.
Vote:
What do you call a frog that crosses the road, jumps in a puddle, and crosses the road again?
A dirty double-crosser!
Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice?
He was a sherbet!
A man climbed over a fence into a field to pick some flowers.
He noticed a bull nearby.
Say, farmer "Is that bull safe?"
"Well, he's a lot safer than you are right now!"