Q. What did one frog say to another?
A. You're such a WART!
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A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys."
Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch.
"That was amazing," exclaimed the coach.
"I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?"
"Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
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Q. What's black and white and green?
A. A frog sitting on a newspaper.
What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?
How slime flies.
Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit?
It was an inn-grown hare.
What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle?
A nerd herd.
Hercules strangled two snakes in his crib when he was a baby.
Chuck Norris strangled a grizzly bear moments after birth with his own umbilical cord.
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Q: Why did the duck go to Brooklyn?
A: To buy some quack.
Why don't sharks eat niggers?
They think it's whale shit.
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How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented?
They were very impressed.