Joke #1081

Q. What did one frog say to another? A. You're such a WART!
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has 11.78 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Little Susan was helping her mother to set the table, cause her father invited over his company managers. When everybody sat on the table, her mother noticed that a flatware set was missing. "Susan, why didn’t you put flatware on Mr. Marc’s seat?" "I thought that I didn’t have to, since dad told us that Mr. Marc, eats like a pig…"
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has 35.12 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, kids
Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, weed
A magician had landed a comfortable job on a cruise ship. His act was rendered hilarious by his parrot who would ridicule the magician after every trick, saying "Big deal, the cards up his sleeve." or "He put the ball in a hidden floor, the big faker!" One night the ship began to sink and while confusion reigned, the magician was just barely able to get to a tiny life boat with his beloved parrot. For two days the magician and parrot floated on the rough seas. Strangely, the parrot sat on the opposite end of the craft just staring at the magician. Finally, on the fourth day, the parrot screamed ‘"kay, I give up… where the hell did you put the god damned boat!"
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal
What's the best way to catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on him.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal
What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls? Reptiles.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal
During camouflage training in Louisiana, a private disguised as a tree trunk had made a sudden move that was spotted by a visiting general. "You simpleton!" the officer barked. "Don't you know that by jumping and yelling the way you did, you could have endangered the lives of the entire company?" "Yes sir," the solder answered apologetically. "But, if I may say so, I did stand still when a flock of pigeons used me for target practice. And I never moved a muscle when a large dog peed on my lower branches. But when two squirrels ran up my pants leg and I heard the bigger say, "Let's eat one now and save the other until winter' - that did it!"
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has 66.17 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, life, military, winter
Q: What did the apple say to the worm? A: You're boring me.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What type of bees make milk? A: Boo-bees.
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has 67.98 % from 769 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, sex
Q: What do you call a car only British animals can drive? A: OxFord.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, driving
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?" Kangaroo: "I can't find my children" Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?" Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
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has 57.17 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, customer service, kids