Joke #1081

Q. What did one frog say to another? A. You're such a WART!
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"I can't decide whether to buy a bicycle or a cow for my farm." "Well, wouldn't you look silly riding a cow?" "I d look a darn sight sillier trying to milk a bicycle!"
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When Chuck Norris wants an egg, he cracks open a chicken.
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Why did the rabbits go on strike? They wanted a better celery.
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You can lead a horse to water, but Chuck Norris can make it drink.
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A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve. A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?" Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
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What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter? Deviled eggs.
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What did the frog say to the fly? You are really starting to bug me!
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A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says "You can't bring that dog in here!" The guy, without missing a beat, says "This is my seeing-eye dog." "Oh man, " the bartender says, "I'm sorry, here, the first one's on me." The man takes his drink and goes to a table near the door. Another guy walks in the bar with a Chihuahua. The first guys sees him, stops him and says "You can't bring that dog in here unless you tell him it's a seeing-eye dog." The second man graciously thanks the first man and continues to the bar. He asks for a drink. The bartender says "Hey, you can't bring that dog in here!" The second man replies "This is my seeing-eye dog." The bartender says, "No, I don't think so. They do not have Chiwauas as seeing-eye dogs." The man pauses for a half-second and replies "What?!?! They gave me a Chihuahua?!?"
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

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Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to eat her chicken pox.
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What is the slowest racehorse in the world? A clotheshorse.
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