Did you hear about the aristocratic horse?
He was the last of his race!
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In the middle of a forest, there was a hunter who was suddenly confronted by a huge, mean bear.
In his fear, all attempts to shoot the bear were unsuccessful.
Finally, he turned and ran as fast as he could.
The hunter ran and ran and ran, until he ended up at the edge of a very steep cliff.
His hopes were dim.
Seeing no way out of his predicament, and with the bear closing in rather quickly, the hunter got down on his knees, opened his arms, and exclaimed, "Dear God! Please give this bear some religion!"
The skies darkened and there was lightning in the air.
Just a few feet short of the hunter, the bear came to an abrupt stop, and glanced around, somewhat confused.
Suddenly, the bear looked up into the sky and said, "Thank you, God, for the food I'm about to receive..."
A deer hunter who was an atheist was out in the woods when suddenly a 1,000-pound deer stepped out.
"Good God!" exclaimed the hunter.
Suddenly, a voice from Heaven said, "I thought you don't believe in me."
The hunter replied, "Up until now I didn't believe in 1,000-pound deer either."
When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness.
A man bought a dachshund for his six children so they’d have a dog they could all pet at once.
Went to a Muslim birthday party the other day.
It was great fun, we blew up a bouncy castle and then had a really intense game of pass the parcel.
Vote:
What's the adult TV channel in Muslim countries called? Play-Goat.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was.
One day she argued with a lion.
The next day was the first of June.
Why?
Because that was the end of May!