Joke #10699

Q: Who was the most famous pirate octopus? A: Captain Squid.
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has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: animal, pirate

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There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt. After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant. "It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out." "That's very sensible, sir." At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon. The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned. "Get my brown pants."
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has 80.30 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life, pirate
Q: What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare? A: A sunken chest with no booty!
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has 79.41 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: dirty, pirate
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a lickalotapus.
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has 58.14 % from 230 votes. More jokes about: animal, dinosaur, dirty, lesbian
Buy a dog a toy and it will play with it for ever. Buy a cat a present and it will play with the wrapper for 10 minutes.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, time
One day little Bill was playing in the sand out of the sun underneath his front steps. Soon his mother walked up the steps without underwear due to the heat of the day and little Bill looked up and yelled out, ''Mother, what's that black thing that you're carrying under your dress?'' ''Don't worry, Bill, it's just a squirrel,'' she said. So little Bill kept on playing, and soon his grandmother came along, also without underwear, and little Bill looked up and said, ''Grammie what is that hairy animal under your dress?'' ''Ah, it's a squirrel,'' she answered. So little Bill asked his grandmother, ''Why is it that your squirrel is grey intead of black?'' The grandmother replied, ''If your mother's squirrel had popped the nuts that this one has popped, it would be gray too.''
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has 39.90 % from 9 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way!
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has 60.66 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
How did Captain Hook die? He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!
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has 67.39 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, pirate
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and talk turns to their adventures on the sea. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, a hook, and an eye patch. The seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We were in a storm at sea, and I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. Just as my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off." "Wow!" said the seaman. "What about your hook"? "Well", replied the pirate, "We were boarding an enemy ship and were battling the other sailors with swords. One of the enemy cut my hand off." "Incredible!" remarked the seaman. "How did you get the eye patch"? "A seagull dropping fell into my eye," replied the pirate. "You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?," the sailor asked incredulously. "Well," said the pirate, "it was my first day with my hook"
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has 80.01 % from 127 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, life, pirate
What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets? Shoot the lawyer twice.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
How do you tell if a black girls pregnant? Shove a banana up her vagina and if you pull it out half eaten then you got a monkey on the way.
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has 63.09 % from 710 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, kids, racist