Joke #10699

Q: Who was the most famous pirate octopus? A: Captain Squid.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, pirate

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There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt. After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant. "It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out." "That's very sensible, sir." At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon. The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned. "Get my brown pants."
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has 84.64 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: beauty, life, pirate
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on his penis. The bartender says to him, "You know you've got a ship's wheel on your penis?" And the pirate says, "Argh, I know. It drives me nuts."
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has 57.82 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, pirate
A pirate walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender walks over to him and says "Hey, I couldn't help but notice when you walked in. Is that a steering wheel hung between your legs?" "Aye!" replied the pirate, "And it's drivin' me nuts!"
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has 27.71 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, pirate
How did Captain Hook die? He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: death, disgusting, pirate
Did you find my horse well behaved? Indeed, whenever we came to a fence he let me over first!
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
While playing in the backyard, Little Johnny kills a honeybee. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. "That's it! No butter for you for one month!" says his dad. Later that evening as Johnny's mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. Little Johnny looks at his father and says, "Are you going to tell her, Dad, or do you want me to?"
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has 85.70 % from 3279 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, food, husband, little Johnny
What has four legs and goes, "Oom! Oom!"? A cow walking backwards.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? A: Because they can spend years at C!
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: pirate, student, time
Rabbit: "I got kicked out of my cage for not paying the rent. My wife walked out and took our twenty-nine bunnies with her. I m all out of carrots. What should I do?" Friend: "Don't worry; be hoppy!"
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, wife
The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris