Q: Who was the most famous pirate octopus?
A: Captain Squid.
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A pirate walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender looks down and says, "You know that you have a steering wheel in your pants"
The pirate replies, "Ay, it's drivin' me nuts."
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on his penis.
The bartender says to him, "You know you've got a ship's wheel on your penis?"
And the pirate says, "Argh, I know. It drives me nuts."
Q: Why are black people, pirates?
A: Because they go nigarrr.
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You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
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Q: What do pirates wear in the winter?
A: Long Johns!
How do bulls drive their cars?
They steer them.
If you crossed a cow with a goat, what would you get?
Half and half.
There once was pirate captain who, whenever it looked like a battle would be imminent would change into a red shirt.
After observing this behavior for a few months, one of the crew members asked him what it meant.
"It's in case I get shot. I don't want you crew members to see blood and freak out."
"That's very sensible, sir."
At that moment, the crew member spotted eight hostile ships on the horizon.
The captain all of a sudden looked very concerned.
"Get my brown pants."
Q: What has 12 arms, 12 legs, and 12 eyes?
A: 12 pirates.
How did Captain Hook die?
He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!
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