Q: Who was the most famous pirate octopus? A: Captain Squid.
Q: What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare? A: A sunken chest with no booty!
Who robs banks and squirts ink? Billy the Squid.
Psychiatrist: "What’s your problem?" Patient: "I think I’m a chicken." Psychiatrist: "How long has this been going on?" Patient: "Ever since I was an egg!"
Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
A man walks into a bar, after buying a beer he looks around the bar and sees three men and a dog playing cards. Amazed, the man wanders over and starts watching the game. Aftere watching the game for ten minutes, the man leans over to one of the other player's and whispers " Wow, that's a really smart dog!". The man whispers backs "He isn't that smart, every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail!"
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on his penis. The bartender says to him, "You know you've got a ship's wheel on your penis?" And the pirate says, "Argh, I know. It drives me nuts."
Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand. That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
Q: Where do pirates buy their parrot food? A: Petsmarrrrrrrrt!
Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? A: Because they can spend years at C!
Did you hear about the snobby cow? She thought she was a cutlet above the rest.