Joke #10439

I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
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has 80.60 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
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Chuck Norris likes his meat rare, so he eats unicorns.
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A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, “What the hell is that all about?” The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm. There ain’t nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other.”
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, wife
A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm. He stopped and asked the boy, "Where did you get that turkey?" The boy replied, "What turkey?" The game warden said, "That turkey you're carrying under your arm." The boy looks down and said, "Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!" The game warden said, "Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you. If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?" The little boy said, "I guess I'll just kiss his ass and let him go!"
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has 80.86 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, game
Little Susan was helping her mother to set the table, cause her father invited over his company managers. When everybody sat on the table, her mother noticed that a flatware set was missing. "Susan, why didn’t you put flatware on Mr. Marc’s seat?" "I thought that I didn’t have to, since dad told us that Mr. Marc, eats like a pig…"
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has 29.23 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, kids
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A man has his car full of penguins. He drives past a policeman, but the policeman stops him. He says. "Hey, you! Yeah, you! You should take those penguins to the zoo!" The man does that. The next day in the same spot, the man still has the penguins. Once again he drives past the policeman. "Hey, I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo!" "I did," replies the man. "We had so much fun that were going to the beach today!"
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has 67.88 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
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has 85.01 % from 747 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death, time
Zebras are just horses that escaped from prison.
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Q: What do you call a black and white thing rolling down a hill A: A maori and a segull fighting over a fishhead.
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has 25.61 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, racist, white people