Joke #10439

I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
Vote:
has 72.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Ronnie goes to the auction. He notices a parrot that was on auction. Ronnie decides to bid for it and so Ronnie starts off with 50 Dollars. Auctioneer: 50 Dollars Voice: 100 Dollars Ronnie: 200 Dollars Voice: 300 Dollars Ronnie: 400 Dollars Voice: 750 Dollars Ronnie: 800 Dollars Auctioneer 800 going once, twice and the parrot is sold. Ronnie to the Auctioneer "I hope this Parrot can speak as I have spent a lot of money on it." Auctioneer Laughing: "Who do you think was Bidding against you.
Vote:
has 78.15 % from 311 votes. More jokes about: animal, money, parrot
They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.
Vote:
has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Vote:
has 74.28 % from 339 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris
"I’m in a big trouble!" "Why is that?" "I saw a mouse in my house!" "Oh, well, all you need to do is use a trap." "I don’t have one." "Well then, buy one." "Can’t afford one." "I can give you mine if you want." "That sounds good." "All you need to do is just use some cheese in order to make the mouse come to the trap." "I don’t have any cheese." "Okay then, take a piece of bread and put a bit of oil in it and put it in the trap." "I don’t have oil." "Well, then put only a small piece of bread." "I don’t have bread." "Then what is the mouse doing at your house?"
Vote:
has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, "Dad, am I pure polar bear?" The dad replies, "Sure you are son. Im all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your mom is all polar bear, and her parents are all polar bear." Still unsure the baby polar bear goes to his mom and asks, "Mom, am I pure polar bear?" She answers, "Of course you are honey. Im all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear." Still not convinced the baby polar bear goes to his grandparents and asks, "Grandmom...Grandpop...am I all polar bear?" His grandmother answers, "Of course you are sweetie. Were all polar bear, your mother is all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear. Why do you ask sweetie?" The baby polar bears replies, "Because I m feeling **** cold and freezing!"
Vote:
has 45.29 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
Q: What does a cooked chicken and a stoner who is afraid of everything have in common? A: They are both baked chickens.
Vote:
has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, weed
Why are rabbits like calculators? They both multiply a lot.
Vote:
has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit? It was an inn-grown hare.
Vote:
has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two blondes went to the pound where each adopted a puppy. The joy of their new best friend was quickly overshadowed when they got home and the first blonde said, “I think we’re in trouble, how are we going to tell them apart?” This lead to several hours of concentration until finally, the second blonde said, “I’ve got an idea. We’ll tie a red bow around my puppy and a blue bow around yours.” The next day the first blonde comes running up to the second when she got home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled the ribbons off while they were playing.” “OK, we need to find a better way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, they came up with the bright idea of getting different colored collars. Again, the next day, the first blonde comes running up to the second as soon as she gets home, “Oh no, I can’t tell whose puppy is whose. They’ve pulled their collars off while they were playing.” “There’s got to be some way to tell them apart,” says the second blonde. After several more hours of concentration, the first blonde finally comes up with another idea, “I know! Why don’t you take the black one and I’ll take the white one!”
Vote:
has 78.11 % from 94 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
Yo' Mama is so fat, the hippos at the zoo get jealous of her figure.
Vote:
has 67.20 % from 191 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, insulting, Yo mama