Joke #10439

I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
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has 79.27 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A dog goes to a telegraph office and dictates a message. ‘Woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.’ The operator reads it back then says, ‘Y’ know, we charge per ten words. You could have an extra ‘woof’ for free.’ ‘No thanks,’ says the dog.
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Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.
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Where do rabbits settle their legal disputes? In a pellet court!
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Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, bible, fish
I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman… “Mr Cook?” “Yes,” I replied. “I’m afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike.” I said, “That’s bullshit – my dog doesn’t have a bike!”
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, dog
Chuck norris can eat chicken tonight tomorow.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
"Did you hear about the farmer who lost control of his tractor in the cow pasture?" "No." "Did he hurt the cows?" "No, he just grazed them."
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, car
Chuck Norris won the Kentucky derby, on a Unicorn.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Did you hear about the cat who drank 5 bowls of water? He set a new lap record.
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has 22.18 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: animal
A fellow always wanted to own a pet skunk, so in the dead of winter, he took his girlfriend with him to go hunting for one. After a bit of waiting, they bagged a skunk and brought him back to the truck. The skunk was very scared and very cold, so the guy asks his girlfriend if she can keep the skunk between her legs to keep him warm. "But what about the smell?" asks his girlfriend. "Oh, he'll get used to it, just like I did."
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has 31.97 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting, hunting, relationship