Joke #10439

I hope to be the kind of person my dog thinks I am.
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There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why? Because that was the end of May!
Vote: has 61.25 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
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Q.How do you catch a polar bear? A.You cut a hole in the ice and you put peas all round the edge and when the polar bear comes along and stops for a pea,you kick it in the ice hole.
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
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The male worm towards the female worm: Baby, if you don’t take me as you’re husband, I’m throwing myself to the chickens!
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Where did the bull carry his stock-market report? In his beef case.
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
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Why did the rabbit have trouble hopping? Because he always kept one foot in his pocket for good luck.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
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How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
Vote: has 59.75 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
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The T. Rexes were all angry. You know why? Because these huge muscular creatures with these big muscular legs and these tiny little hands! How would you feel, 60 million years never being able to masturbate? That is the real reason dinosaurs are extinct right there.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:
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How much money did the bronco have? Only a buck!
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
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What is a moo hoo for a delightful ranch owner? A charmer farmer.
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A farmer was in a bar drinking and looking all depressed. His friend asked him why he was looking depressed and he replied,  "Some things you just can't explain. This morning I was outside milking a cow. As soon as the bucket was full the cow kicked it down with his left foot so I tied up his left foot to a pole. I began to fill up the bucket again and he kicked it down with his right foot, so I tied his right foot to a pole too. As soon as I finished milking the cow again he knocked down the bucket with his tail and I took off my belt and tied up his tail with my belt. As I was tying up his tail, my pants dropped down, then my wife came out and well, trust me, some things you just can't explain."
Vote: has 79.66 % from 119 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, sex, wife, work