Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you. Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
Once a cobra bit Chuck Norris. After 5 days of extreme pain... the snake died.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people, then it exploded.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience.
Chuck Norris was once shot. The bullet died.
Chuck Norris was born feet first. It was the only time a doctor died during childbirth.
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
The chemical formula for the highly toxic cyanide ion is CN-. These are also Chuck Norris' initials. This is not a coincidence.