Joke #11068

Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road? To get to the other side… er, no… to go shopping… no, not that either… damn it!
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has 60.15 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house everyone felt shitty even the mouse. Mom at the whorehouse and dad smoking grass, I settled down for a nice piece of ass. When all of a sudden I heard such a clatter, I sprung from my place to see what was the matter. When out on the lawn I saw a big dick, I new in a moment it must be Saint Nick. He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell, I knew in a moment the f*cker had fell. He filled all of our stockings with pretzels and beer and a big rubber dick for my brother the queer. He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart, the son of a b*tch tore the chimney apart. He swore and he cursed as he flew out of sight, "piss on you all and have a hell of a night."
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has 65.61 % from 301 votes. More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, fart
What did the naughty rabbit leave for Easter? Deviled eggs.
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: Why do cops arrest black people? A: Because monkeys belong in cages.
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has 20.97 % from 177 votes. More jokes about: animal, black people, cop, prison
What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt? Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
The mouse and the elephant stay on the trunk of a smitten tree. Near them passes the giraffe, who asks them: Who pulled out this tree from his root? Me off course, says the mouse, but the elephant helped a bit.
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has 19.69 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal
A cowboy rode up to the saloon, dismounted from his horse, and dusted himself off. He then walked around to the rear of his horse, lifted the tail and kissed it right on the rectum. As the cowboy walked into the saloon, the shocked barkeeper asked, "Did you just kiss your horse's butt?" The cowboy said, "Sure, I've got chapped lips." The stunned barkeep asked if this was an old Indian cure. The cowboy said, "Nope. But, sure as s**t, it keeps me from licking my lips!"
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy
What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milkshake.
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has 50.96 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would've.
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has 20.20 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer, men, phone, women