Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side… er, no… to go shopping… no, not that either… damn it!
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Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
Two hunters were dragging their dead deer back to their car.
Another hunter approached pulling his along too.
"Hey, I don’t want to tell you how to do something… but I can tell you that it’s much easier if you drag the deer in the other direction. Then the antlers won’t dig into the ground."
After the third hunter left, the two decided to try it.
A little while later one hunter said to the other, "You know, that guy was right. This is a lot easier!"
"Yeah, but we’re getting farther from the truck," the other added.
Why was the cannibal looking peeky?
Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
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Would a Police-Dog arrest itself for fouling the street?
Police Dog Joke Submitted by Kabogga.
What do you call a bear with no teeth?
(A gummy bear!)
One simply cannot play fair and win in a zoo - there are way too many cheetahs.
Q: Why don't seagulls fly over the bay?
A: Because then they'd be bay gulls.
What do you call it when one rabbit challenges another rabbit to hop across a forty-yard canyon?
A hare dare.
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
I took my 7 year old son to the zoo today.
We were walking around and soon he said, “Look Dad! It's a frickin' Elephant!”
I was shocked and slightly angry, as everybody was looking at us.
“What did you just call it?” I asked.
“It's a frickin' Elephant, it says so on the picture!” he said, and so it did, A F R I C A N Elephant.