Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side… er, no… to go shopping… no, not that either… damn it!
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The little snail begs for his mother:
Mother, please let me pass the rail road!
Thunder dear, not now.
In five hours the train passes.
YOUR MOMS HOUSE IS SO POOR I WENT TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND A ROACH TRIPPED ME AND A RAT TOOK MY WALET.
Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
Vote:
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat?
A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
What do you call the reindeer with one eye higher than the other?
Isaiah.
What do tigers wear in bed?
Stripey pyjamas.
A blind man was describing his favorite sport - parachuting.
When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door and told when to jump.
My hand is placed on my release ring for me, and out I go."
"But how do you know when you are going to land?" he was asked.
"I have a very keen sense of smell and I can smell the trees and grass when I am 300 feet from the ground," he answered.
But how do you know when to lift your legs for the final arrival on the ground?" he was again asked.
He quickly answered "Oh, the dog's leash goes slack."
Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to eat her chicken pox.