Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice?
He was a sherbet!
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Q: What does an elephant use as tampon?
A: A sheep.
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Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show?
A: The feather forecast!
What’s a mouse’s favorite record?
Please cheese me!
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear.
He sleeps with a real bear.
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Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture.
Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"!
Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep.
He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"?
Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".
What should you call a bald teddy?
Fred bear .
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
That tornado damage your cow barn any?
Dunno.
Haven't found the durn thing yet.
What do you call a big white bear with a hole in his middle?
A polo bear.
There was a man driving a pickup truck down a country road, when suddenly he was broad sided by a trailer truck.
Some time went by, and the case got to court.
The defense attorney said to the plaintiff, "How can you be suing my client now when you told a trooper after the accident that you felt fine?"
The man replied. "Well sir, it was like this. We was driving down the road, minding our own business, when a big trailer truck came out of nowhere and creamed us. When I came to, I was in the ditch, and a trooper was pulling up with his car. He looked at the hogs, and they was most dead, so he shot them. Then he looked at my dog, and he was hurt real bad, so he shot him."
Then he came over to me and he said, "How you feeling?"
I said, "I never felt better in my life."