Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice?
He was a sherbet!
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Lion wakes up in the jungle and finds that a tool is missing, he goes to elephant and asks "Have you seen my tool?"
Elephant replies: "What does it look like?"
Lion: "Well it's got four points on it."
Elephant: "Sorry, I haven't seen it, try mouse."
So the Lion goes to the mouse and asks "Have you seen my tool?"
Mouse: "What does it look like?"
Lion: "Well it's got four points on it."
Mouse: "Sorry mate, I've not seen it, try croc."
So the lion proceeds to the crocodile and asks "Have you seen my tool?"
Croc: "What does it look like?"
Lion: "Well it's got four points on it."
Croc: "Sorry I've not seen it, try Jaguar."
So the lion goes to Jaguar and asks "Have you seen my tool?"
Jaguar: "Of course, I ate it."
Lion: "Why did you do that?"
Jaguar: "Well I'm a four point tool eater Jaguar."
If God didn't want us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them out of food.
According to leading scientists, the deadliest animal on the planet is the Bearded Norris.
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Why is it that if you give a child an encyclopedia, lawyer is always the third thing they look up?
Because the first thing a child looks up is dog.
The second is snake.
And under snake, the encyclopedia says See Lawyer.
I've just discovered a method for making wool out of milk.
But doesn't that make the cow feel a little sheepish?
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote?
One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.
Did you hear about the man with five keen senses?
He still lacked common and horse!
What dog can jump higher than a building?
Anydog, buildings can't jump!
In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
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You momma so stupid I see her walking the pigs down the street I'd asked "What she doing?" And she said "Going piggy back riding"!
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