Joke #4527

Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A man walks by a table in a casino and passes three men and a dog playing cards. ‘That’s a very smart dog,’ says the man. ‘He’s not so clever,’ says one of the players. ‘Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail.’
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: animal
A guy walks into a Raptors bar with a dachshund under his arm. The dog is wearing a "Toronto Raptors" jersey and helmet, and is festooned with "Raptors" pom-poms. The bartender says: "Hey! No pets are allowed in here! You'll have to leave!" The guy begs him: "Look, I'm desperate. We're both big fans, the TV is broken, and this is the only place around where we can see the game!" After securing a promise that the dog will behave, and warning him that he and the dog will be thrown out if there's any trouble, the bartender relents and allows them to stay in the bar and watch the game. The big game begins and Vince Carter does a great slum dunk. With that the dog jumps up on the bar, and begins walking up and down the bar giving high-fives to everyone. The bartender says: "Wow, that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! What does the dog do if Raptors win?" The owner replies: "I don't know, I've only had him for a half year."
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has 43.52 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, dog, game
What happens when the cows refuse to be milked? Udder chaos.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q) What do you call a dog with no legs? A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal
"Oh, please excuse me!" said the bunny. "I didn't mean to trip over you, but I'm blind and couldn't see you there." "That's perfectly all right," replied the snake. "It was MY fault. I didn't mean to trip you, but I'm blind too, and I didn't see you coming. By the way, what kind of animal are you?" "Well, I really don't know," said the bunny. "Since I'm blind, I've never seen myself. Perhaps you could examine me and then we'll both know?" So the snake felt the bunny all over and said, "Well, you're soft and cuddly; you have long silky ears, a fluffy little tail and a twitchy little nose... you must be a bunny rabbit!" The little blind bunny was so pleased with this that he danced with joy. The bunny said, "I can't thank you enough. What kind of animal are you, sir?" The snake said he didn't know, for the same reason. The bunny agreed to examine him, and when he finished the snake asked, "So, what kind of animal am I?" The bunny said, "You're hard, you're cold, you're slimy, and you haven't got any balls. You must be a lawyer."
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has 80.43 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, health, lawyer
Why did the duck get arrested? because he was selling quack.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, duck
Did you hear about the new shark food restaurant called Jaws? It costs an arm and a leg to eat there.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show? A: The feather forecast!
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, duck
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
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has 55.37 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting, fat
Lara Rabbit: "Do you think that's Sophie's natural color?" Zara Rabbit: "Only her hare dresser knows for sure."
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has 56.84 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal