Joke #4527

Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

After a day fishing in the ocean a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, "I did not catch these lobsters, they are my pets. Everyday I come done to the water and whistle and these lobster jump out and I take them for a walk only to return them at the end of the day." The warden, not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license. The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "If you don't believe me then watch," as he throws the lobsters back into the water. The warden says, "Now whistle to your lobsters and show me that they will come out of the water." The fisherman turns to the warden and says, "What lobsters?"

Q: What is height of De-hydration? A: A cow giving milk powder.

The little snail begs for his mother: Mother, please let me pass the rail road! Thunder dear, not now. In five hours the train passes.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins.

What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast? How slime flies.

Mama bear to Papa bear: "Well... You might call it hibernating — I call it goofing off ."

Have you seen the offices of the RSPCA? It’s tiny; you couldn’t swing a cat in there.

What dog can jump higher than a building? Anydog, buildings can't jump!

I had to go round next door and look after my neighbour’s cat while he was away. Now there’s a great pile of crap and a puddle of wee on his kitchen floor. Hopefully, he’ll think the cat did it.