Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods.
Cats have never forgotten this.
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Q: What did the cow say to the other cow?
A: Moo.
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What famous painting do cows love to look at?
The Moona Lisa.
What animal do you look like when you get into the bath?
A little bear.
The last time Chuck Norris was hungry, all the dinosaurs suddenly got extinct...
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A beautiful princess comes upon a frog in a meadow near her castle.
The frog hops into the princess' lap and says, "My lady, one kiss from you, and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I once was, and then, my sweet, we can marry and set-up housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever be happy doing so."
That night, as the princess dines on lightly sauteed frog legs, she chuckles to herself, "I don't f**kin' think so."
Gemma:My dog doesn't have a nose.
Ortoise: How does he smell?
Gemma: Awful!
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk.
Both are dragging their right foot as they walk.
As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points to his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969."
The other points his thumb behind him and says, "Dog crap, 20 feet back."
Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude?
He always said "Neigh"
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat.
He came across two men.
One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter.
The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him.
Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest, and writers cramp.
Chuck Norris can mess with the bull without getting the horns.
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