Joke #4527

Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Teacher: "What does a duck say?" Jenny: "Quack Quack" Teacher: "What does a cow say?" Madison: "Moo" Teacher: "What does a pig say?" Little Johnny: "A pig says *holds up gun* get on the wall, you motherfucker!"
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has 55.11 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, kids, little Johnny, vulgar
Tom was walking down the street when he sees a funeral procession. At the head was the casket, behind was a man walking a very large dog and behind him were 300 people. Tom walks over to the guy with the dog and asks who’s funeral is this? The man answers, “My mother-in-law’s.” Tom wishes his condolences and asks, “She must of been a very important person, but what’s with the dog?” He answers, “This is the dog that killed her!” So Tom asks, “can I borrow the dog for an hour?” He responds, “Get on line!”
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has 81.89 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks.
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has 39.39 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, computer
A deer hunter was bragging about the biggest, baddest, handsomest, heaviest deer he'd bagged the day before. "It's got enough meat to eat the whole year," he boasted. Just then the Game Warden came up and cited the man $500 for hunting without the proper tag. "Five-hundred dollars?" exclaimed the hunter. "All for a mangy, skinny, stubby, half-pint deer?"
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, hunting, money, time
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don't work.
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has 57.16 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal
I hear you take milk baths. That's right. Why? I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal
What band is a cow favorite? Moody Blues.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, music
Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
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has 46.60 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..." The man shook his head. "Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?" The man shook his head again angrily. "Sorry... a worm?" The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces. "Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"
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has 75.85 % from 109 votes. More jokes about: animal, computer, doctor, IT, programmer