Joke #11108

Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back? They re always switching their tails.
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Why was the little bear so spoiled? Because its mother panda d to its every whim.
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Imagine being completely naked in room full of people who speak a different language and everyone wants to touch you... This is life of a dog.
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An old man approaches the window of a cinema with a chicken on his shoulder, and asks for 2 tickets. The girl at the counter wants to know who is going in with him. He replies, “Well, my pet chicken, of course!” “I’m sorry,” The girl tells him. “We can’t allow animals in the cinema.” The man goes around the corner and stuffs the chicken into his trousers. He returns to the window, buys his ticket and goes in. Inside the cinema, the chicken starts to get hot and begins to squirm, so the man unzips his trousers so the chicken can stick it’s head out and watch the film. Seated next to him is a woman. She looks over at his lap and is horrified. She elbows her friend Agnes and whispers, “Agnes, this man over here has just unzipped his trousers!” Agnes whispers back, “Oh, don’t worry about it… you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.” Madge says, “I KNOW…but this one’s eating my POPCORN!”
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I had to go round next door and look after my neighbour’s cat while he was away. Now there’s a great pile of crap and a puddle of wee on his kitchen floor. Hopefully, he’ll think the cat did it.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
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What kind of sharks make good carpenters? Hammerheads.
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Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
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What two members of the cow family go everywhere with you? Your calves.
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What kind of shoes do frogs wear? Open toad!
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A woman went to the doctor's and complained of being really sore. "Do you have any idea why?" "Well, I had sex with an elephant!" "You did? But elephants are known to have small penises!" "Yeah, but he fingered me first."
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